(Closed) Engaged and… pregnant. Really, really upset – not handling it well.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@Mcda04:  Seriously, is this KeyLimePie under an alias?

There is no need to patronize the OP by putting “feelings” in quotes and looking down on everyone who’s given her thoughtful, non-judgmental advice.

And guess what, your sister’s (nor the OP’s, nor anyone else’s) abortion does not affect you in the least. It’s HER body, and HER life. The OP wasn’t being careless here. Sometimes birth control fails.

Post # 123
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Regina Phalange:  I was going to say the same thing. She says she is going to keep her opinoins to herself…which she doesnt! She just puts them out in a very condescending passive aggressive way.

Post # 124
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

OP, I saw a website not too long ago (I think it was posted on the Bee, actually) called This is my abortion. A woman took secret photos of her abortion to combat the sensationalist propaganda images that are out there. I encourage you to take a look at her photos (I promise it’s nothing graphic – it’s just blood in a jar) and read her story; it may make the whole thing seem a little less scary.

Post # 126
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Regina Phalange:  No this is not Keylime Alias.

I am a Catholic woman two beautiful children. Actually my sister is not happy. like i said, she “TRIES” to live a normal life but it will never happen because she’ll always wonder what that child would’ve been like.

I send blessing to the OP because i know there’s nothing that will change her mind so good luck to her.

 

Post # 127
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As I’m reading the posts regarding taking the abortion pill or the surgical abortion I’m lead to ask, Is there a particular reason you’re choosing the pill over the surgery?  I’m not to familiar with the pill but I’ve had 2 D & C’s and believe it’s similiar to an abortion. I’d be concerned for you choosing the abortion pill as some of the bee’s have said it’s uncomfortable with a lot of cramping and if it didn’t completly expel everything you’d have to end up with the surgical abortion. At your appointment on Thursday can you ask about both procedures and weigh the pros and cons.

If it was me, I’d choose the surgical abortion. It’s over in less time, the cramping is more managableMaybe because I’ve had the D & C and kinda know how it feels. My experience was good and had just a day of cramping afterwards. With my breast cancer I’ve had multiple surgeries and by far the D & C was the easiest.  

I hope these posts (minus the negative ones) are supporting you and helping you get through this difficult time in your life.

Post # 128
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Mcda04:  

That’s too bad for your sister. Interestingly enough, once I decided I didn’t give a fuck about the busybodies trying to disguise their judgment and condemnation as “concern” for my “feelings” having an abortion became a crappy thing I had to do once in a bad situation, rather than a shameful dirty thing that I should live my life under the burden of.

Maybe if your sister wasn’t surrounded by people who look down on her for making the best decision she could at a bad time, it wouldn’t be such a problem in her life now. 

Also, concern trolling is a crappy thing to do to someone in a vulnerable and difficult spot. Unchristian, even. Just for future reference. 

Post # 129
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Elvis:  + a billion

Post # 130
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

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@Elvis: +1000

Post # 131
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

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@MsLouella:  Lol, we had the same idea 😉

Post # 132
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

You’re in my thoughts OP.  Getting pregnant is my biggest nightmare and I can only imagine how hard this is for you.  My first college roommate had an abortion and it was a really scary time for her, but she made the right decision (no where neeeear ready emotionally or financially for a kid) and she’s in medical school now.  You’ll be okay too.  Take care of yourself.

To the very few bees who have tried to convince the OP otherwise, glad to hear you’ll be cutting her a check for 200,000 dollars (average cost of raising a child to adulthood) and taking on the enormous responsibility and emotional and physical tolls of parenthood.  Oh wait, you’re not?  Then please respect the OP’s wishes and keep the anti abortion comments out of this.

Post # 133
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Elvis:  Surrounded by bigoted & condemning people myself, what you said was amazing…YOU are amazing! +1000000000, couldn’t have said this any better! 

Post # 134
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC

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@Keylime Pie:  It is incredibly offensive and uncalled for to attack someone who has stated she needs comfort and support. She has already made a decision and you were not invited to comment on the nature of that decision.

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@anonybee2012:  I wish you all the best and am sending hugs. While I have never personally had to terminate a pregnancy, I have close friends who have. Many of them felt the same as you leading up to the termination and afterwards felt completely relieved. I hope relief finds you  after the fact and that you feel loved and supported during this time. Hugs and more hugs coming your way.

Post # 135
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

So sorry this happened… hope everything is okay and you don’t suffer any ill effects from the termination. 

Okay, no judging…. but when you transition from one form of birth control to another form… usually you act as if you are not on anything for at least a month or two for your body to get used to the new one! That means, condoms, withdrawing etc… Okay, end of lecture…

EDIT – check out this reply….

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@S.Elizabeth.G:  

I had to have an abortion after my first baby because the doctor said if I continued the pregnancy, I would split my stomach open because it was too soon after my c-section…. 

Post # 136
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Stay strong, I can’t even imagine how hard this must be.  I think about this scenario all the time and my Fiance and I have the same plan on board.  We are not financially ready to bring a child into this world.  Please know you’re not alone as many many bees have made this same decision.  We all support you 100%! 

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