(Closed) Engaged Bee's Who PIcked Out Their Own Ring…I NEED YOUR HELP!

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Well I didn’t want a surprise proposal and checked the ring out the second it arrived, precisely because I wanted to be able to send it back if need be.

Do you trust him to inspect it? I’d give him some pointers on what to look out for.

That or just spoil the surprise. Honestly, it’s not much of a surprise anyway, so why not save yourself a headache?

At the very least, read up on what the return/exchange/etc. policies are and tell your SO that proposing before then would be best.

Post # 4
3288 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

We both wanted me to look at the ring when it came in, as I have a better eye for detail than DH. We also wanted to make sure it fit! I was still surprised and emotional and all of that good stuff when he proposed!

Post # 7
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@nattiejeanne:  I picked out my setting in the sense that I told my fiancé it was my dream setting that I’ve been lusting after for years. He said he felt like he had to get it for me because he wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint me. But other than telling him that, I had no idea if he actually got it or when he was buying it. I guess I just trusted him. It turned out really good though. 

Post # 8
3221 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@nattiejeanne:  try on the ring with a placeholder CZ. I actually wore mine for a few days to make sure it was comfortable and the right ring for my lifestyle. Then FI took it back to have the diamond set in the ring.

I was still surprised when he proposed, but the proposal was more about the way he did it than the ring. If you have a better eye for detail, it may just make sense to try it on and make sure everything is okay before handing it back to your FI.

Post # 10
36 posts

@nattiejeanne:  With moissanite especially, I would want to see it with my own eyes first to make sure I liked it, that the color wasn’t off, etc. – you’ve been so involved in the ring selection process, and making sure you love the feature stone is a huge part of that process – why duck out at the final stages? The ring will not be a surprise for you, only the timing of the proposal. I understand wanting the element of “surprise” with seeing the ring in person for the first time during the proposal, but it sounds like you have some concerns. I’d suggest you personally approve of the stone before your SO has it set. The last thing you want is the unpleasant surprise of not liking the stone after the proposal.

Post # 12
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I picked out my ring but didn’t see the final product until he propsed.  We did a custom ring and I picked out the stone and was sized at the shop, but only my FI saw the wax mold and picked up the ring.  He did propose about an hour after he picked it up though, so if anything had been wrong we could easily fix it.

I would say just make sure he knows the store’s policies so that he propses within that time.  I’m sure he does not want to give you a ring that doesn’t fit or has issues if it’s too late to fix it.

Post # 13
36 posts

@nattiejeanne:  Do you guys have a trustworthy local jeweler who can inspect the setting for flaws honestly (without trying to sway your FI to buy something from their stock)? That’s what i would suggest in that case.

Still couldn’t hurt for you to try the setting on to make sure it’s the right size before the stone is set, just to be sure. 

Post # 14
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I asked my fiance to have his mom look at it (since guys don’t always have the best eye for detail). That way, I could still be semi-surprised, too.

Post # 15
1411 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Beautiful ring and congratulations! 🙂

FI and I decided we would preserve the surprise by having him propose with a whimsical, inexpensive ring, and we bought the engagement ring afterwards, and for us, that was perfect. If you want something that looks like an engagement ring, check out berricle.com. It’s also nice to have a stand-in ring anyways. So, just an idea!

Post # 16
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I really wish I had seen the ring/CADs of my ring before it was approved by FI. There were a lot of changes I would have made. Don’t get me wrong, I am still happy with my ring but yes, there were changes I would have made. It would not have affected the proposal in any way as I already knew what ring I was getting.

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