(Closed) Engaged BEFORE living together…thoughts??

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 92
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

It’s not weird at all! 

Post # 93
Member
6523 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@dfutureNP:  its not weird. Fiance and I got engaged before living together. We are getting married in September but we have only been living together for 6 months. So far everything has been great. I feel like I am on vacation  LOL

I am glad we did things the way we did, because I have seen a lot of my friends move in with their BF’s and they never get engaged. And I wanted to at least be engaged before moving in.

 

Maybe its where I live, but I feel like a lot of guys have the mentality of why buy the cow when the milk is free? you know what I mean? Its not right, but thats how they think

Post # 94
Member
708 posts
Busy bee

I would rather be engaged before living together, honestly. My boyfriend feels strongly about living together for some time first, and to his credit I can understand that purchasing an engagement ring would be a very difficult investment to make if he feels like there are ciritical insights to be gained from experiencing each other’s day-to-day lives. I can respect that.

I would rather the living arrangement be “on a trial basis” than the engagement, so we’ve agreed to move in together with a timeframe in mind that we will either proceed towards marriage or return to living seperately (which realistically would be the end of the line for our relationship).

Post # 95
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think that’s “weird” at all.  My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 1/2 years (almost 100% sure an engagement is coming in a few weeks-yay!) and I was upfront with him in the beginning that I didn’t want to live together before we were engaged.  Maybe it is a bit old-school, but I had seen many friends jump in to a living situation with their boyfriend that wasn’t right.  I just wanted us to be sure that when we do live together it was a commitment, just like getting engaged.  Also, to be honest I didn’t want him to get comfortable and then think “what is the difference if we are married or not?”

It all comes down to the right choice for you and your relationship.  No one else can decide for you.  🙂

Post # 96
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

@dfutureNP:  My Fiance and I dated less than 6 months before we got engaged and we didn’t live together beforehand. 

We took a lot of flack from people that our relationship got so serious so quicky (we have been good friends for 13 years). It was hard and hurtful at times to “justify” our engagement.

I’ve lived with three ex boyfriends and I now that I live with Fiance I feel like it makes living together easier, like small issues or bumps in the road are smaller now this large commitment is in place. It’s working for us really well. 

It seems to me that you have your life in track, are making compromises to focus on your career and you are in love with a good man. Good for you 🙂

Post # 97
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@dfutureNP:  

No, I don’t think it is weird. People don’t live together before marriage all the time.

Post # 98
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We got engaged first, moving in together next month! I don’t think it’s weird, and I probably would have gotten more resistance from my family if I had done it the other way around. 

Post # 99
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

we wont be living together until 3 weeks after our wedding!!! gotta love being in an LDR with school!

Post # 100
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think it is weird… Things have changed over the years…. It is now more common for people to live together prior to marriage. It does not mean that you should not be engaged first. I was glad that my Fiance and I lived together first because we were sure we could handle living together and know so much more about each other and our habits/annoyances. I do think that if two people cannot live together and get along then they should not walk down the aisle. But to each their own…

The topic ‘Engaged BEFORE living together…thoughts??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors