Engaged but don't feel like it…advice, please?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

daisymaewaiting :  It totally get the feeling of being a bit disappointed because the moment wasn’t super special.  The disappointment will pass and you’ll be able to get excited about other things, but for now don’t worry about feeling a little put off or down about it.  Some guys are…maybe a little tone deaf about that kind of stuff.  It sounds like your man just got caught up in his own head and didn’t really think things through, but…now it’s done.  So don’t feel bad for feeling a little bit of a “womp womp,” I can absolutely see why his method was sort of a let down.

Maybe let him know you’d still like to have a special moment?  Maybe you can go have a nice dinner together to celebrate the engagement?

Post # 4
Member
1525 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

daisymaewaiting :  Well that’s at least sweet of him.  It sounds like maybe he knows he biffed it and wants to make it up to you, which is good, lol.  Hope you guys still have a special moment! =)

Post # 5
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

LOL Don’t worry about it!! 

I actually told my fi, ‘i cant believe you proposed to me after I’ve been so stressed and b*tchy lately’. 

If anything it shows how much he TRULY loves you, because he loves you at your ‘worst’ and ‘best’. 

πŸ™‚ 

CONGRATS!!

Post # 6
Member
2886 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I know an engagement shouldn’t be about a ring, but I think most would agree that it feels great to have that ring on your finger! It sounds lame and superficial but people seeing it and asking you about it, and talking to your friends and family about your wedding plans will make it all seem real and exciting. 

 

Post # 8
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

You’re right that a ring isn’t the point or “necessary” and I also understand the feeling that the engagment isn’t complete without it. It’s okay to have mixed feelings, I know I would in your situation. 

I wonder if y’all were bickering because he was nervous to ask you that day. I’ve not been my best self when I am anxious about something I wanted/needed to say, so it could’ve been nerves. 

Maybe you both need to take some time to process everything. You don’t sound like you’re in a rush, so waiting for a special moment will good for you both. 

 

Post # 9
Member
4315 posts
Honey bee

My husband asked me to marry him and he didn’t have a ring. Of course I said yes. We went out and got it some time after because the ring was not the important part of the proposal.

I think that the fact that he asked you on the spur of the moment, even after arguing, is notable and sweet and a nice change from the overly choreographed proposals that seem to be the rage lately. (Thank you social media)

Post # 11
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

futuremrs2020 :   daisymaewaiting :  I 100% agree – as shitty as it sounds, having SOMETHING on my finger made a big difference to me. 

I proposed to my amazing guy, so there was no ring on my end, which was completely fine. About a month later, (after much “Lemme see the ring!!” and “Does this ring make me look engaged?!” bullshit) I told him I would like something. My exact words were “I don’t care if it is a $20 sterling band, I just want something to signal that we are now engaged.” That day, while on a short vaca to Martha’s Vineyard, he purchased me the most beautiful ring – blue topaz with a halo of hematites – for a whopping $72. πŸ˜‰

When we wed, I will be getting a totally different ring, as this one won’t stand the test of time, and we will have time to save for it. But for now, I have a GORGEOUS little something that everyone comments on and is a daily reminder of the love we share. πŸ™‚ 

So, my advice: Get a ring. Even if it’s not your forever ring, even if it’s not diamonds or gold, get something. Having a new sparkler will make this new milestone shine for you. 

Post # 15
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

daisymaewaiting :  So glad to hear y’all chatted it out & took the time to understand each other a little bit better. That’s a great start to any marriage. Congratulations! 

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