- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
I am not entirely sure if this is the place to post but here it goes..
I recently got engaged about 3 months ago to my fiancé.
We’ve been dating a little over 3 years (2 of which were long distance).
I’ll give you a little background story–
I met my fiancé when I was abroad and we spoke every day since. He would fly me out to see him and he would visit me at home. We talked for hours about anything, and the best part is that he remembered everything I told him, even the smaller details. In the beginning of the relationship I felt so blessed to find someone who loves me the way he does. This is also my first relationship and yet it felt so natural. However, I was so caught up in the relationship that I sort of made my world revolve around him and I didn’t make the best effort to stay in touch with my friends. I told myself that I would never be that girl but it is hard when you are in a long distance relationship so you’re constantly on your phone.
Our relationship is very healthy in terms of communication and we get a lot really well. He is my best friend and I feel like I can tell him anything. However, lately I’ve been feeling like something is missing. I don’t know if it means that I am simply unappreciative of what I have with my fiancé, or it’s because I never dated anyone else so I want to see what else is out there. However, the thought of breaking up with him devastates me because I can’t imagine not having him in my life and I don’t want to break his heart. I know that I have to put my needs before anyone else, but how can I break up with someone who treats me just because of this feeling?
Prior to the engagement, we would talk about marriage here and there but nothing really specific. My parents were in town so he thought it would be perfect for them to witness their daughter getting engaged, especially since I don’t see them as much. I can tell that they were super happy for me when it happened but when all the excitement died down I could tell that they felt uncomfortable. They didn’t say much but I could tell. However, they told me a few days before they left that they don’t think that he is the guy for me and my brother told me that he doesn’t see me going through with this.
It wasn’t entirely surprising to hear this from my parents because I have these thoughts here and there. I try not to think about it because he’s a great guy, but I also feel like I’m comfortable in this relationship. I feel like I’m living his life, in terms of being close to his family and hanging out with his friends, even though he always encourages me to meet new people and make friends. Like when I do go out with my friends he tells me that he’s happy for me and that I should do that more often.
Bottom line is that I have doubts here and there and I cry all the time because of it. I know he loves me and he wants the best for me, but I just feel like there is something missing. Or maybe I am too young (23) and this is my first relationship. We also come from different lifestyles (his is more simple and mine is more luxurious), and I never thought it would be a problem before but now that we’re engaged I sort of think differently. My dad even asked me if I am ready to live a simple life like this. Normally I would say that money isn’t everything, but I am working on my Masters and I work really hard so I don’t want to work so hard and then come home to a simple life.
I know my email is all over the place, my thoughts are so scattered.
I am just hoping for some guidance or advice because I want to enjoy the engagement period but I feel like I can’t even start planning until I get my feelings straight.