- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
Bees, I’m having a fantastic weekend.
Briefly, SO said he sees us being together for the long haul, and that the main delay in a proposal being that we want a short engagement and we’re not in a place to plan right now. Long story and relationship stats below.
[me- almost 25
Together- 4.5 years
I’m in a graduate program and travel back and forth between states on weekends, and he lives on his own and works full time.]
On Friday SO and I decided to stay in for Valentine’s Day because restaurants are often packed and we’ve had quite a bit of snow here. SO made us dinner and bought me roses because he knows how much I love when he buys me flowers. I bought him a bottle too, just a small gesture since he’s been wanting it.
Well, we drank two bottles of wine and got super drunk. Part of the reason for that was that he was being very open and communicative and I wasn’t ready to stop talking. So we just kept drinking lol (next step I guess would be for us to be able to talk about these things sober lol)
Anyway, he basically said that I’m it for him. He said he “kinda” likes me haha which is our way of joking with each other about how much we care for one another. We talked about a lot of things including marriage and kids (which we’ve done before, this was just way more detailed and frank), and he reassured me that essentially no matter what happens, we’ll work through it together. At one point I think he even said something about forever lol (I was surprised at this particular bit of language just because he and I are both very realistic and know that no matter how much some people love each other at one point, divorce rates are quite high – no one likes to think about that kind of stuff while getting married, but I feel like it’s inevitable to at least have that discussion in this day and age).
A few months back when we talked about getting married he told me to ask him again in August. He never explained why August, but I think it has something to do with it being a year of him living on his own. So Friday night I actually started the conversation with, “so what’s happening in August?” and he got where I was going with it.
I still don’t know what’s happening in August. But I think it’s when he’ll be more comfortable talking about an actual engagement as opposed to us getting married at some unknown point in the future. He said that the ring and everything (aka public announcements) will come later, closer to when we can actually start planning the wedding. Since I’m in school (and will be for another few years), I can’t plan a wedding right now. Next year, and more so the year after, planning will be much more feasible.
As much as waiting sucks, I don’t feel quite as stuck in time anymore. I know that he’s thinking about our future and seeing us in it together. We’re planning to move after I’m done with school, and so I think having the wedding before the move would be the best plan. He doesn’t want us to have a long engagement (and most of the time I’m on board with that as well – I’m just less opposed to a long engagement if that were to happen than he is).
So, we both know that we’re going to get married, and, a few things need to happen first. So technically, I guess we’re engaged. Practically, we’re not letting other people in on the plan just yet. It’s almost like why let other people and ourselves get excited if we can’t start planning anything for at least another year? We’re both patiently waiting for school, money, time, etc. When it’s time, we’ll let other people know we’re done waiting.
In the meantime, I have never felt more comfortable in our relationship. We’re both more sure of where we stand, and most importantly, that we stand together.
p.s: I’d like to stay on the waiting list until it’s “official.”