engaged during COVID and feeling lost

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee

The one problem with sending out Save the Dates too far in advance is that your situation can change, your budget might change or you might decide you want to have a smaller wedding and the original guest list might have to be reduced.

If you think that 2022 is going to be exploding with weddings and you want to give your VIPs (parents, siblings, best friends) the date, I would maybe send STDs to them or let them know by word of mouth so that they can leave that weekend open, but I wouldn’t send them out to the peripheral so that you can adjust your guest list accordingly once you really start getting deep into planning.  

Post # 3
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the same position, in Ontario, engaged Nov 2020 and no wedding date yet.  I don’t want a “covid wedding” so I’m not confident enough about 2022 to pick a date, we will likely plan for 2023. No real advice, but comiserating!

Post # 4
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

If 8 months in advance is standard for Save-the-Dates, I see no harm in considering 10 months given the trickle effect Covid has had — wouldn’t be the least bit surprising if guests have ovelapping weddings due to 2020-2021 postponements.

Similarly, the vendors you mentioned would typlically be booked around the 10-8 months mark in my area so again, I see no harm in securing them a few months sooner.

Post # 5
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

This was in normal times (also in Ontario), but I sent my save the dates 10 months in advance and started booking vendors 1-1.5 years before our wedding date. I would definitely start booking vendors ASAP if I were you and maybe send STDs one year in advance! 

Post # 6
Member
2094 posts
Buzzing bee

Real talk – I very rarely do anything with a STD. My own personal circumstances change so frequently that I don’t even think about it until I receive an actual invite to the wedding. If you sent me a STD about a wedding ANYTIME next year, I’d probably bin it right away. I struggle to even meal plan for my family a week in advance let alone prep for an event over a year out. 

As for planning, I agree with your FH that you’d probably want to start locking some things in earlier given that there will probably be an influx next year (hopefully). I would reach out to a few vendors and see what timelines they are seeing from other brides and gauge off of that. If people are booking stuff up now and vendors are advising you to do the same, go for it, but check your cancellation clauses in case anything changes. Both of my weddings were very small. My first one I planned in just a few months, and my second one was a courthouse wedding. I applaud you ladies who are able to dedicate a year to planning! I have no attention span for that.

Post # 7
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

View original reply
@veronikaxxoo:  Hi Bee – fellow Canadian here from Manitoba 🙋🏻‍♀️ We were engaged this April and planning to get married September 2021. We did evites using Greenvelope – tons of designs to choose (looks super sharp), reasonably priced, and best part is you can use their email guest option to send them updates in case dates change. If you leverage The Knot you can reference it on the Save the Date and update the site as you need! We used Callia and they are awesome! Delivered to your door couple days before the wedding with last minute availability. As for an officiant we asked my fiancé’s best friend who filled out a one page form, paid $100 and was our officiant for the day. Hope these tips help streamline your planning! 

Post # 8
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

I’m of the opinion that save the dates are useless. I’m either close to the couple and I already know the date anyway, or I’m not that close to them and wouldn’t clear my calendar six-plus months in advance for it.

Post # 9
Member
757 posts
Busy bee

I would send your STDs to VIPS and travelling guests at around 10-12 months – but only after you’ve booked your venue.

I would start booking your major vendors around now too. It’s pretty typical to start booking venues and photographers around 1 year out even in normal times (at least in busy cities/seasons) so 1.5 years is a good idea for post-COVID weddings. 

Then I would send the remaining STD’s at around 6-8 months when you’re more sure of the numbers/COVID situation. 

Post # 10
Member
931 posts
Busy bee

I sent STDs 9 months out *after* I booked my venue. No specific details on it other than the location area and date. I wouldnt advise sending them too early 12+ months in advance because theres the possibility of details changing for you such as relationships and financially. Even though I appreciate a heads up for planning I honestly wouldnt want to receive a date too early because I know life can be unpredictable.

Take a breath, Ive had some breaking points when I started planning spring 2020 when covid hit. My suggestion is to focus on what yoyou can get done, pick a date, budget, then guest list and pit a deposit down on a venue. And talk with them about cancelation. Keep in mind life doesnt always go as planned, and this includes weddings. I’ve had to compromise and use my budget on one specific category for another. Pick and choose your battles with planning your wedding. I’m getting married fall 2021 and things are feeling like they are all coming together.

Post # 11
Member
7580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

As a wedding vendor I’m here to tell you that 2021 and 2022 are absolutely exploding with weddings. As in, many vendors I know are fully booked for 2021 between all the 2020 reschedules and new clients…and 2022 is looking to be just as busy. That being said, I 100% agree that sending STD’s out of fear of losing out isn’t a great reason to do it. You guys need to sit down and have a conversation about what date you want, the kind of wedding, budget, etc. Like someone else mentioned, sending out too early leaves you open to potentially changing your mind and wanting something completely different. Start planning your wedding, and send out your STD’s during the normal time-frame. At the end of the day there will always be guests who can’t make it because they’re already committed to someone else.

Post # 12
Member
4700 posts
Honey bee

I would focus on lining up all your vendors asap. Save the dates can wait.

Post # 15
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

View original reply
@veronikaxxoo: Awesome! I just hit send on all my invites today and it worked awesome! Best of luck!

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