(Closed) Engaged Encounter… Scared

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

So it isn’t about making you agree on things.  No one is going to take you into separate rooms, ask you if Pepsi or Coke tastes better, then kick you out if you disagree.  That said, there are section devoted discussing issues that frequently come up in marriage. 

Every EE is different, but at all of the ones I’ve seen, they don’t make you agree on the spot or in public on any issue.  Instead, they bring up an issue, you talk about it, then move on to another issue.  Hopefully you’ve come to agreement, but if you haven’t, you know it’s something to discuss at home.

They’ll bring up some minor things like where you’ll spend the holidays, who will wash the dishes, etc.  These are brought up in case you hadn’t thought of them, and really aren’t “make or break” issues.

They’ll also bring up the major issues that you should already have discussed and agreed on:  will you have kids, how will you handle your finances, how much money/debt each of you has, etc.  These sorts of things are the common cause of divorce and if you fundamentally disagree on these issues, you have some serious discussions and decisions to make.  But everyone knows what these things are (kids, money, religion, sex) and usually talk through it before even getting engaged. 

Post # 5
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@star_shine:

It’s natural to be afraid, but you don’t need to worry πŸ™‚ Look at it as extra bonding time with your Fiance. No one is going to judge you or say you aren’t ready…at least not in my experience. It’s an opportunity for the two of you to spend some focused time on the ‘marriage’ aspect of your wedding…the whole reason why you are planning this big celebration. I hope you have a great retreat, good luck!

Post # 6
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If your communication with each other is already good, you have nothing to worry about!  The only person you HAVE to share things with during EE is your fiance.  You will probably be really nervous until you realize everyone else is really nervous.  Then when you get started, I think you will really like it.

Post # 7
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I was also a bit scared, but I loved it! They make you see what you can expect after getting married. Honestly I wouldnt mind doing it all over again!

Post # 8
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think 95% of people on here have loved Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter. If your communication is good, you will enjoy it!

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

double post. sorry.

Post # 11
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@star_shine:    it sounds like you have nothing to worry about then πŸ™‚  You might see something you had not thought to discuss, but it will probably be minor and you have the communication ability in place to work through it.

Post # 12
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m actually very excited about our Engaged Encounter πŸ˜€ I went to a Catholic school growing up and we used to go to these types of events all the time (youth encounters). There’s always a lot of fun activities and you end up learning a lot! I’m hoping it will be similiar in this case πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

we are just doing the all day saturday workshop, and not the full weekend.  my fiance is jewish, so that’s the only part i’m really worried about!  I don’t want him to feel super uncomforable!  We took the FOCCUS inventory already, and met with the priest once, and things went pretty well, so the weekend can’t be that bad either!

Post # 14
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@jem415: You may be surprised and find other couples in a similar situation πŸ™‚ I imagine that would be reassuring. Have fun!

Post # 16
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I really liked our Engaged Encouter in the Arlington, VA diocese. It was nice, mostly discussions by the mentor couples and then you and your Fiance answered the same questions in separate places. Then you got together with your Fiance and discussesd what you answered. Your never had to share anything publicly.  It was a very long weekend.

The topic ‘Engaged Encounter… Scared’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors