Post # 76
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
I’m not sure if you’re moving out in hopes that he will change or if you’re moving out because it’s over. If you’re hoping he will Change all I can say is let your concerns be known clearly and plainly like maybe even bulleted and numbered in priority list on a piece of paper lol then really leave. What I mean by really leave is take all your s*** and don’t answer your phone. If you just say you’re going to leave and take time to pack and time to find a place to live and you’re still there tomorrow planning your move blah blah blah I don’t think he’ll take you seriously and I think it will just cause more resentment in the relationship
Post # 77
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
I’m so sorry Bee, this has got to be so difficult! Please push through the hurt and truly focus on finding YOU! You shouldn’t be ok with how he is treating you. Men are very territorial and usually want their woman with them. If for no other reason then to ensure that other men aren’t muscling in on their territory. I know that I sound like a caveman- but it’s true! He’s ok with your moving out? I’m sorry. 🙁
Post # 78
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
I’m glad you’re taking this time to take care of yourself. Please don’t have high hopes that moving out will make him change his mind about marriage or wanting you back. He seems like he’s set in his decision There is that possibility that things may never change. Have fun, enjoy yourself, and date other people. You seem like a sweet woman that will find someone that won’t waste your time and beat around the bush about wanting marriage.
Post # 79
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
avintagegrl81: I’m so sorry. But the fact that he is okay with you moving out is definitely not a good sign… I hope you’re not wasting your time by remaining in a relationship with someone who clearly is not as dedicated to you the way you are to him.
Post # 80
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
athenalex: thank you for your advise. i am definitely moving out not only because of what has happened in the relationship, but for the fact that i have lost myself as well in the process. we love each other, but both slipped into a place where we both become stagnant and unhappy. this time willl be well spent for me to get back to getting happy, with no expectations or timelines, to see where time apart might take me, and us.
Post # 81
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
ladysweet1: he does want me with him. he told me that whatever i need to do to get happy again, because he misses the happy me. through all of this, i got lost and caught up in my age, that i forgot to live my own life. he is supportive and helpful, and i am glad that he is being selfless.
Post # 82
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
Eirene00: thank you! i am definitely ready to take this time to focus on myself and get my life back. i used to be so independent but lost myself in all of this. time for me to do some soul searching.
Post # 83
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
avintagegrl81: you can do this. Be strong and may blessings come your way 🙂
Post # 84
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
I think the crux of the matter is this: how’s the relationship? It sounds like both times that you called off the wedding you agreed that the relationship was not where it needed to be to get married. Do you think it can get there? Do you want to try?
I think it sounds like you may have been rushing towards marriage without really sorting out all the issues or questions you had before getting married. Postponing for 6 months when you knew you had issues was probably not the best call – it probably would have made more sense at that point to postpone indefinitely until you got things sorted out and had decided that marriage was definitely the right choice for you.
I don’t think that your Fiance is necessarily stringing you along – it sounds like you both agree that there are issues that need to be cleared up before marriage is a good idea.
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