(Closed) Engaged, first date postponed, second date cancelled…stay together?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 76
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m not sure if you’re moving out in hopes that he will change or if you’re moving out because it’s over. If you’re hoping he will Change all I can say is let your concerns be known clearly and plainly like maybe even bulleted and numbered in priority list on a piece of paper lol then really leave. What I mean by really leave is take all your s*** and don’t answer your phone. If you just say you’re going to leave and take time to pack and time to find a place to live and you’re still there tomorrow  planning your move blah blah blah I don’t think he’ll take you seriously and I think it will just cause more resentment in the relationship

Post # 77
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

I’m so sorry Bee, this has got to be so difficult! Please push through the hurt and truly focus on finding YOU! You shouldn’t be ok with how he is treating you. Men are very territorial and usually want their woman with them. If for no other reason then to ensure that other men aren’t muscling in on their territory. I know that I sound like a caveman- but it’s true! He’s ok with your moving out? I’m sorry. 🙁

Post # 78
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m glad you’re taking this time to take care of yourself. Please don’t have high hopes that moving out will make him change his mind about marriage or wanting you back. He seems like he’s set in his decision There is that possibility that things may never change. Have fun, enjoy yourself, and date other people. You seem like a sweet woman that will find someone that won’t waste your time and beat around the bush about wanting marriage. 

Post # 79
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
avintagegrl81:  I’m so sorry. But the fact that he is okay with you moving out is definitely not a good sign… I hope you’re not wasting your time by remaining in a relationship with someone who clearly is not as dedicated to you the way you are to him. 

Post # 83
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
avintagegrl81:  you can do this.  Be strong and may blessings come your way 🙂

Post # 84
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the crux of the matter is this: how’s the relationship? It sounds like both times that you called off the wedding you agreed that the relationship was not where it needed to be to get married. Do you think it can get there? Do you want to try?

I think it sounds like you may have been rushing towards marriage without really sorting out all the issues or questions you had before getting married. Postponing for 6 months when you knew you had issues was probably not the best call – it probably would have made more sense at that point to postpone indefinitely until you got things sorted out and had decided that marriage was definitely the right choice for you.

I don’t think that your Fiance is necessarily stringing you along – it sounds like you both agree that there are issues that need to be cleared up before marriage is a good idea.

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