(Closed) Engaged for 1 week and depressed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

how about try to live in the moment and feel happy about the fact that your fiance has just asked you to marry him

Post # 4
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When I started planning, what was fun was figuring out the details I knew I could plan right away.  It sounds like things such as season and time are going to be hard to figure out, so I’d try not to stress about those because that won’t be fun. (And unless coordinating with the season/time of year is really important to YOU, I’d try not to make that a factor in how you decide things.  Because there is most definitely NOTHING wrong with going “against the season”). 

So things to think about…do you know who you’d like in your wedding party?  Are there certain colors you’d love to use no matter the time of year?  Is there a certain theme you’d like to apply, no matter the time of year?  And there’s always a bazillion dresses to look at!  I think for many people on this board, dress looking is always fun.  ๐Ÿ™‚  Is there anywhere you’re thinking of where you’d like to get married?  It sounds like you have the general idea for what kind of wedding you’d like, (more low key and non-traditional) so maybe start considering areas in which you’d feel like there’s a good fit for that. 

Those are definitely all things that you can start to consider without a solid date in mind.  I have to say…my best friend got engaged about a year before I did, and as I was planning her wedding, I started planning mine in my head.  Before I got engaged.  ๐Ÿ™‚  So there are definitely lots of things that can start to get figured out before anything in set in stone.  And if you can, it definitely helps to find people who can excited with you in a way that doesn’t make you feel sad (like people who aren’t going to ask when are you getting married over and over).  I definitely got more excited when I was planning with my friend, because we had fun planning her’s, and now we’re having fun planning mine…though it’s also fun because she knows all the right things to say ๐Ÿ™‚

But, yeah try not to let youreslf get too bogged down in the details you can’t control.  And also, though I maybe should have said this earlier…give yourself time to be sad if you need it.  Just because you just experienced a happy occasion doesn’t mean you can’t also feel sad at the same time.  As fun as getting engaged may be, there’s a lot of loss that comes with it (loss of being single, loss of being more of an independently functioning person, loss of an old life you knew)…and not that those things outweigh the good (and not that they apply to everyone), but I think it’s hard to remember that we’re allowed to feel sad during the happy times as well…ESPECIALLY dealing with challenging issues like immigration.

Anywho, this is getting long.  I hope you’re able to start finding things to have fun with.  And as much as possible, focus on the fun in wedding planning, and don’t start stressing about the stressful stuff until you have no choice.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Girl it’s ok not to jump into planning as soon as you get engaged. Fi and I are not discussing our wedding in full detail until June 2011. I got engaged on Thanksgiving day, and as soon as the ring was on my finger people started asking me when is the big date? The only thing Fiance and I discussed is that we want to get married in 2012, and it will be a small intimate wedding. My mother is constantly asking questions about the wedding, that we haven’t even thought about. Enjoy being engaged and worry about planning the wedding after your immigration status is settled. Take Care. 

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