(Closed) Engaged for a little over a week and I am already wondering if I can do this

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

We didnt plan for about the first 3 months of our engagement πŸ™‚ It was the best thing we could have done. When people asked we just said “we are just enjoying being engageged for right now.”.

Just relax and enjoy this time. Once you start planning it’s stress city.

Post # 4
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Asia:  

 

I don’t know how old you are, so it depends but basically my fiance and I dated for a longer period of time (3yrs) , and then both moved to california together from new england and got engaged a year after that, when both of us had money and good jobs to be able to afford the wedding costs.

You have your entire lives ahead of you, so my advice is to not rush things or feel like you need to sprint to the altar because you don’t want to be a stressed out, broke bride. That is not a great way to start a marriage.

If you feel you absolutely must be married soon, then you could do a destination wedding in Mexico, packages there are very inexpensive, you can have a nice beach wedding for $2000. Something to think about.

Post # 5
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

What I did to prepare for the planning – since I had never done it before – is..I grabbed bridal magazines and searched online for a wedding planning ‘timeline.’ I also grabbed a small calendar/planner book that I used strictly for wedding stuff. Depending on when you want your wedding to be, you will need to adjust certain things..but I wrote down everything that needed to be done each month. I didn’t even look ahead because I knew I’d get overwhelmed with what was to come. 

Before I even looked at venues, my FH and I came up with our guest list (creating the guest list early allowed us to narrow our venue search simply because of the amount of people each place would allow – the list had to be narrowed down quite a few times, but when we got it to where we wanted it, we began looking at venue options online and asked places to email quotes before we went to look at them. It helped us to narrow it down even further without having to spend so much time looking in person. If it was out of our price range, we asked what changes we could make or we moved on.

Keep in mind that some places are BYO..where you bring in everything yourself – caterer, bartender, rentals, etc. and some places have it all there for you – you just choose what you want. 

Thats just the start of it, but for me, it went so smoothly. Don’t be overwhelmed as it’s easy to be! Things will get done! I do suggestlot enjoy being engaged for a bit before you dive head first into planning. I did and I’m so glad I did! 

Best of luck to you and your fiance!!

Post # 7
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Asia:  

 

Is your mother paying for the wedding? If the answer is no, then she doesn’t get a say in when or where it happens, (in my opinion).  I know that sounds harsh but you don’t know my mother! Ha! I basically had to cut her off for 6 months.

Suggestion:  You could just firmly explain that both of you are not prepared to finance this wedding yet. If your family has an issue with you living there unmarried, you could always just go to the courthouse and “make it official” and get legally married to get them off your back, and then start saving to have a ceremonial wedding and reception. No one has to know, but at least your mom will be satisfied knowing that you’re married. 

Post # 9
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

it really depends. I didn’t even see my venue until the day before my Destination Wedding.

Post # 11
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t see my venue either until I arrived – it was in Canada.

 

We didn’t get a date/place for about 5 months after the engagement.  We just tossed around ideas prior to that.

 

Post # 13
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Asia:  Would you consider eloping? I have no interest in planning a huge wedding and inviting a bunch of people we’re not particularly close with. We’re both introverted people and that’s the last thing we want.

I’d start by being honest with yourself and asking yourself what you REALLY want. Not what mom wants, not what FI’s mom wants, etc. Weddings are expensive and if it’s not a priority, you will spend the next year of planning MISERABLE.

You just don’t strike me as one of those girls who has had her wedding planned on Pinterest for a year already lol. Nothing wrong w. that!

I think the first step is to set a budget. Don’t ask anyone to be in your wedding yet, until some details are decided.

Post # 14
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Prairie Production- Chicago (loft)

I enjoyed the first 3 months- just being engaged…after that start with your venue/food…then work down to dj,photographer, video, ……then flowers, invitations, and dresses, then decor and gifts. Its really not that much if you block out what you should accomplish every month. Unlike most brides I did not let the wedding gown be the biggest issue. Shopping for that is exciting but you dont need 2 years to do it- you do however sometimes need to book a venue/caterer a year in advance so start with that.  

Do your self a favor- start with the basic thing- pick the time of year you like and a budget.

If you are having a traditional recepion at a banquet hall/museum, etc with 150- 200 guests- you’ll usually spend 5- 10k more than you originaly thought so keep that in mind. 

Make life easier and do a destination wedding- sometimes I think maybe I should have- so I wouldnt have so much stress about making things perfect.

Post # 15
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

What about Lake Tahoe?  Would that seem appealing to you?

 

If found this site that seems to include quite a bit.  Seems very reasonable!

http://lakefrontwedding.com 

 

(Go under WEDDINGS and there are tons of options, not all links work).

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