Post # 1
Please don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful for my mother and Future Mother-In-Law and their excitement and support for our marriage but it’s already turning into a circus. We haven’t set a date – not even close but my mom has been trying her hardest to keep herself under control (failing) with questions about who, what, and where. I told her that we want something small and we’re trying to keep this as simple and stress-free as possible.
Now the moms want to plan an engagement party and are asking us all kinds of questions. I don’t really want to elope but we’re starting to think eloping will be the only way to avoid all of this….STUFF.
A part of me is people-pleasing. My mother is an absolute angel, I’m her only child and she is so, so SO excited to see me get married. I don’t want to take anything away from her. This is all making her really happy. I guess I’m just venting and open to any ideas that you guys did to keep your stress levels down or any stories if you faced a similar situation.
Post # 3
@mousepeach: Oh poor thing 🙁
Me and Fiance are newly engaged as well, and at first things were calm.
Then my mother asks me would we like to have a party, I run it by Fiance, we both agree why not.
I KID YOU NOT! My mother whips out a list of people ready to invite, shows me websites saved with all these favors, and already has locations she’d like to reserve for the party.
I freaked, and said slow down! Thankfully Fiance and I are getting married this month, so we are skipping the whole engagement party thing. (City Hall marriage cause he’s Military) We are talking about an actual wedding next summer. So at least that’s a longer time frame, and not rushing and panicking, and my mother and I can take our time to plan.
My advice, tell everyone to slow down too! To let you enjoy your engagement, and you and Fiance want to plan a majority of YOUR party, but would love their ideas and input based on things you and him pick.
It’ll work out, I know it will. This is a special moment in your life, take time out to enjoy it.
Congrats and good luck Bee! xxx
Post # 4
I had an absolute melt down a few days after we got engaged. My mum (in NZ) was so quiet about the whole thing that I got all freaked out that she wasn’t happy for me (given the fact we hadn’t even been going out a year and they hadn’t met FHmany times etc etc etc) and I was getting myself into a total lather about who to pick as bridesmaid & Maid/Matron of Honor, how we were going to afford a wedding, anything and everything! Fortunately we had a chance to catch up with my brother & sister-in-law the weekend after, and they were able to reassure me that all was fine. They’d been through a similar thing with mum after they got engaged (they’d been together 7 years and Emily was already part of the family) and were able to make me see that I was stressed over nothing.
It’s an emotional time and being stressed just seems like part of the process! I promise you things will settle down 🙂
Post # 5
Im am too recently engaged ( two weeks), and since logging onto weddingbee. We have decided to keep the engagement quiet until we have a date and deciede the location state.
Im sure the parents are happy and excited and are trying very hard (lol) to be helpful. Make sure they know that you appreciate the help but you will let them know when things get a bit much, and need help.
Happy Planning and Congratulations!
Post # 6
You need to stand up for yourself! Everyone will try to give you advice and want information and tell you what to do, so if you let them, they will drive you crazy!
Post # 7
It’s okay to be emotional. Take a few weeks, months to enjoy being engaged before planning. If anyone pressures you, just brush them off in a positive way. “thanks for bringing that up! We are so happy to be engaged and will talk more about that soon!”
All you really need to do is breathe and read, “A Practical Wedding” by Meg Keane!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Agreed with taking the time to enjoy being engaged.
Fiance and I have been engaged for a month now; we just came up with a preliminary guest list yesterday. The venue will depend on the guest list and your date will depend on the availability of your desired venue.
Not sure if it would help, but keeping the engagement off Facebook creates less stress! 🙂
Post # 9
When Fiance and I got engaged about a month ago, it was drama drama drama right from the beginning. Things have now started to calm down and everything has become much more relaxed. Give it some time for it to sink in with everyone and hopefully, everyone will calm down 🙂