(Closed) Engaged just a week and already feeling the stress…

posted 6 years ago in May 2014
Post # 3
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Oh honey, I didn’t even know what a bridal shower was for when I started.

I suggest looking into “inclusive wedding packages” at hotels and such around you. Thats what I did and half my wedding planning was done for me.

Post # 4
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I didn’t want to plan a big wedding — I was thinking about invited 30 people to a private room at a nice restaurant — but my husband wanted a larger guest list than me.  So, we had a bigger shindig (~90 guests wound up attending).  It was a ton of work because we had a pretty customized / a la carte event.  It was a nice weekend, but if I had to do it all over again I would have saved the time and effort and stuck with my first model.  It was not worth it in my opinion.  I would have been just as happy to be married regardless of the amount of fuss!

Post # 5
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would have gone to hawaii like my dad suggested! It is alot of work and headaches and honestly it has taken up so much of my time in the last year. It really is ridiculous! 

My advice to you is to wait awhile before ou make any decisions on anything ( including bridesmaids). 

Post # 6
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

And get everything in writing! If theybsay they will give you a particular suite, getbthe room number in writing. If they say they will give you white wooden chairs get it in writing! Or ou are getting white plastic chairs! 

Yes its a major headache!

Post # 7
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Awww just relax, you have got PLENTY of time to plan!!! 19 months is a long time!! My Fiance and I will have had a 10 month engagement when we get married in November, and a lot of times I think 10 months is too much time. And we’ve been doing everything ourselves. I promise you it isn’t that bad, especially if you are flexible on the details… You and your Fiance should spend some time just enjoying being engaged before you start digging into the wedding planning books! It really is a special time, and you don’t want to spend the whole time being stressed out – especially while you’re still in school!!

When you do get ready to plan, you should read A Practical Wedding – a lot of bees on here have raved about it. it will help you put things in perspective, and I think it may help you come up with the questions you need to ask your Fiance and your families about what you want. Read that before you make any major decisions. Seriously, it’s great. And it’s a really quick read, I promise.

If you do find yourself stressing too much about all of the details, as a PP said, a lot of venues have all-inclusive packages. This means you might be able to find a venue that takes care of everything you would need to rent (tables, chairs, tablecloths, flatware, etc.), catering, DJ, flowers, cake, etc. That may be a big help and reduce the number of decisions you have to make!! And do NOT worry about all of the things, all of the stuff you might feel like you need to buy or all of the wedding “traditions” (garter toss, bouquet toss, cake cutting, etc.) – just do what you and your Fiance like! It’s your day 🙂

 

Post # 8
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m right there with you! I’ve been engaged a week and a half or so and going nuts, especially since I can’t set my date until we find a venue. We will both be okay… It does get better, cause if it doesn’t I think my Fiance wil throw me out the window, LOL

Post # 9
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wedding planning is like having a second job… at least for me.  But you have TONS of time!  So don’t worry!  The first thing you should do is start looking into venues.  Check out Real Simple Wedding’s checklist.  It’s not too long and it breaks it down by month.  Just google it and you’ll find it.

Post # 10
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes it’s overwhelming at first and yes it’s worth the trouble! 🙂

Once you settle on a date range and a rough headcount you can start looking at venues. Once you decide on venues it’s easier to pick other things.

For me I didn’t feel like I could pick a dress without knowing where I was going to walk.

I also think the budget is very hard to settle on. Mine kept going up. I think it’s best to determine what amount of money you can definitely come up with by like the month before the wedding, add it all up and then try to plan for less than that. It’s also important to make a list of things that you want at the wedding and rank them. Then start pricing everything you want and see what you can afford.

Don’t sweat details (song choices, photograph choices, day of activities) until you are closer to the day. I would recommend googling for a schedule that says what to have done by how many months away from the wedding. I planned and executed my wedding in 7 months, but I was engaged for 4 months before I did any sort of planning. I printed out the schedule and used it as my checklist for the entire 7 months.

Post # 11
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know the feeling! Yes, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, but 19 months is actually a great time frame. Get as much done early as you can so that closer to the date you can relax & enjoy your last months being engaged. First thing I would do if I were you is find your venue. I started 1yr in advance and alot of places were booked already which was really disappointing. Good luck : )

Post # 12
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MissThespian:  I suggest you figure out what your priorities are (as a couple), and stick to your guns if/when people start to pressure you.

Don’t let people sway you. I know plenty of people who ended up having a wedding that was totally not what they hoped for.

Try to simplify things for yourself if they’re overwhelming you. We’re eloping. We don’t want the expenditure, glitz, glam, tons of people of a regular traditional wedding. Do what’s right for you as a couple.

I think that people recommend setting a wedding budget before doing much else. I assume if you’re just out of school that money will be a concern. Don’t start your married life in debt. For a one day party it just isn’t worth the stress. Save up for what you can afford… be realistic.

With that said, have fun! Now’s the time to enjoy yourself 🙂

Don’t make any promises (19 months is far away) and try not to stress.

 

Post # 13
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

we’re month twins and i understand where you’re coming from.. just take it easy it’s suppose to be fun. So i suggest whenever you feel like bridezilla is kicking in then take a break and spend some time with your hunny to remember what it’s all about. I do believe in the end it will all be worth it. If planning is not your thing maybe that’s why you’re feeling stressed, think about getting a wedding planner so you will hav no worries.

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