(Closed) Engaged? Kinda? IDK.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Kind of. FH proposed to me without a ring. We kept everything hush hush because around here, people won’t take you seriously without some sort of proof. Sad, I know, but that’s just how it is. Anyway, FH told me that when he got me a ring that he would give me a formal proposal. The only people that know are my parents, his parents, my cousin and a few friends. Everyone else knows that we plan to get married next year and that’s it.

I suppose the best advice I can give if it comes up in conversation is just to say that you know you’re going to get married, you’re just waiting on the best time to make everything official. That way, no one asks you about seeing a ring, well, most people won’t. That’s what I’ve been doing : )

Good luck and congratulations on your “unofficial” engagement

 

Post # 5
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We did. 

My FH proposed to me in Disney World, in the summertime. He proposed again with a ring in December, right when I got home for Christmas break. 

We didn’t tell anyone about the first proposal – it’s our secret. Now that the wedding is over, we’re a little more lax about it. We’ll tell people that didn’t know us before the proposal that he proposed in Disney, but most of our families still assume it was the December one. It’s not really that important anyway – after the wedding at least.

Though, I don’t know if I would take “start planning a wedding” as a proposal – real or not. 

It’s definitely exciting that you’re one step closer though!!

Post # 6
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I too like the fact that our first proposal was a really big secrret between the two of us for several months : ) It still would be a secret, but my cousin saw us looking at rings one day and told my parents and then we HAD to tell FH’s parents.

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can understand why you feel like that!! Everyone wants to see the ring omg the right.. But congrats sounds like you wil get the ring very soon. Dont stress about someithing so small be happy!!

Post # 9
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

hey if he said start- then START- congrats lady!!!!!

Post # 10
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Torrid:I went through exactly that and was “waiting” but also engaged for… the 6 months he was deployed, but moreso for the last 2 months.

 

Life is complicated.

 

Congrats, you’re getting married!

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This situation is so confusing! Im in the same boat! engaged but not “really engaged””

While on vacation in January, my SO & I talked long and hard abot marriage, we set a date and discussed some details. After this vacation my SO has been encouraging me to start the wedding planning (reserve a space, design invtation, pick a dress etc.) but I feel weird doing all this stuff without being “engaged”. On top of that, our parents know and they are in full blown weddng planning mode which confuses me even more!

He always talked about how imp. proposing was to him, but now I feel that some of the magic of the proposol has worn off. I don’t even want a ring, I just want a serious “Will you marry me” that I can tell everyone about. My SO also said to tell everyone I wanted, so maybe guys just dont see this situation as a problem. I have been contemplating talking o my SO about how awkward I feel about all of this, but he might feel Im pressuring him to propose..which I guess I kind of am

Can’t really give advice on how to be patient while waiting for him to make it “officially” official because Im going crazy myself! But now we can be crazy togther LoL

Post # 13
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Torrid: Of course you can! I’ve been planning bits and pieces here and there since before I actually got the proposal. After he told me that he was going to marry me one day in the near future, I took that as an ok to start looking. I made a little folder on my computer and started saving pictures : ) I think it’ll help me avoid being too stressed out when the wedding gets closer.

Post # 14
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Congrats! Start planning!

Post # 16
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Torrid:  Well I never thought I would be the girl that was droping hints, and making sure to tell the Boyfriend or Best Friend which friend of mine is engaged now too.. BUT  here I am! lol  We have only been together for 10 months so that makes me fell even a little more silly.  Especially when I hear the ladies that have waiting for five years.  I don’t think I would feel this way if we hadn’t already talked about marriage sooo much!  It’s already know between the two of us that we will get married, we have talked about where, and have looked at rings a few times.  Yet I am left waiting…  soo just to make sure I wouldn’t go absolutly crazy I started planning out some details of the wedding.. first just dresses…then flowers…location… songs… and now I just about have everything planned.  UGH.. oh and I should mention we live together as well.  So we are playing house, and I am ready to make it offical!! 

All of our close friends and family know we want to get married.  AND all my girlfriends know I am working on getting that proposal! lol  We chat about wedding details and then end it all with sounds good now we just need to get that darn RING! πŸ™‚ 

 

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