Post # 17
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
My engagement was similar to yours. We actually had a wedding date before the official proposal and ring. I understand that limbo feeling. I remember feeling a little jealous of girls with engagement rings, but I knew we were going to get married so I tried not to stress too much. Not that I always succeeded! I did feel funny saying I was engaged and then having people say “Where’s the ring?” However, when my fiance DID give me a formal proposal and a ring, it was so special and, even though I knew we were getting married, I was surprised when he did it! He wanted to wait until the 2 year anniversary of our first date.
You can definately be excited and start researching and planning! And just trust that he will propose (officially) and wants it to be special. I’d encourage you to try not to ask him too many questions because then it takes away a little from his surprise.
Post # 18
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
@cafegirl
Asking questions is definitely something I’ve been trying not to do! To make sure I don’t slip, I don’t talk to him about the planning in general yet, except if he would like certain things, like the colors (I don’t know why I bother, he doesn’t seem to care one way or the other).
He knows it feels kind of awkward for me, because I did mention it once, but I haven’t mentioned it again. At this point, I don’t think I have to beat a dead horse. I really hope he does make it special, because he’s not a romantic guy. >.> But I will have to trust him. He does know how to make me happy, so I’m sure I will be thrilled to death! :)<3
Thank you guys so much for your support & comments!
Post # 19
Member
19 posts
Newbee
Congratulations 🙂
That is really exciting!
This happened to me sort of. We picked out a ring and got verbally enaged and he said I could start planning and he would do something special to give me the ring soon… so I put money down on a place and bought a dress and started planning, without the ring. It was awkward planning without one (not materialistic at all) but I got used to it after a while
I kept waiting for him to give me the ring. Anticipating, but it was getting too close for comfort and when I confronted him he said he needed a little more time so we should move the date back. This is when I realized I should’ve had the ring before planning.
I’m not saying your fiance will get cold feet or anything like this will happen to you, I pray it doesnt (it’s painful) but in the end I realized doing things in the right order matters.
It’s a happy ending, and about a year later he finally got around to giving me the ring and all the vendors I booked were gracious and let me reschedule– but I just wish I had waited the first time around, mostly because I got my hopes so far up and had to go through the difficulty/pain of informing my family and friends that we were moving the date back.
If I were to do it all over again I would’ve waited for the ring, but I understand the excitement… so maybe just keep it on the down low and start gathering ideas but don’t make deposits and tell the whole world until you have your ring, but close friends and family would love to share in your excitement!
Post # 20
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
aw thats sweet once your man says start planning your wedding you are now officially committed! unofficially engaged
you become officially engaged for the books when he goes through the motions and plops a ring, but to say plan a wedding, girl, you cant get clearer marriage commitment than that—Congratulations!
I considered myself engaged once hubby said let’s look at rings and plan-we were vacationing in the carribean at the time.The ring came later a few weeks he had to order it he went on one knee by a beautiful lake, but I consider my proposal when he said let’s look at rings, I was giddy
Post # 21
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
I was in your shoes – as of Christmas 2009 we knew we wanted to get married in New Hampshire summer of 2011 but had no ring or proposal. Since we were moving to Texas in June 2010 I started planning right away with my Mom. I didn’t book anything but I got an idea of who I wanted for vendors and started looking in magazines, websites, bridal shows, etc for ideas on cakes, flowers, dresses, etc. It wasn’t until he proposed in May 2010 that I finally started booking. That is when I went dress shopping and stuff – I had to cram it all in before I moved so my mom and Bridesmaid or Best Man could be part of it! So my advice is plan without planning – and only tell those who will understand. I got some weird looks from aquaintances who knew I was planning without a ring but who cares! My true friends understood! It wasn’t real for me until I got the ring I guess – and I’m not a materialistic person at all – in fact my ring is a family ring and we (joint bank account so yea I guess I helped pay for my ring?) only spent $32 to get it sized lol so it’s not like I was waiting for a big rock – just for him to formally ask!
Post # 22
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
I’ve been looking into venues I might like to have it (like going to their websites, I haven’t physically gone there yet), but I’m not going to book anything until he formally asks. We have set a date, but I’d still like that formality to happen first.
I know he won’t ask me any later than August…but knowing him, he’ll probably take advantage of every day he has. :/ So I probably won’t get the actual ring til August, & it’s so hard because I’m bursting at the seams wanting to tell everyone! Not only that, but I had a very rude experience at a David’s Bridal (the place where I incidentally love a dress) where they were very hesitant to let me look at dresses or try them on (Oleg Cassini!) because I didn’t have a ring. They even point blank asked me, “Are you really engaged or are you just wanting to play dress up?” I was very hurt that a ring dictated how they treated me. I explained (even though I know I shouldn’t have, it’s none of their business) because I was so embarassed, but it made me so angry!
My parents (even my dad, shocker :O) have been really supportive & are excited for me! It’s nice to know that my situation isn’t unique, & that this happens a lot. Makes me feel less awkward, for sure! But even though I know a formal proposal is coming, I’m just as excited. I don’t think it’ll take away from the magic at all. 🙂
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