Engaged ladies – how long did it take him to propose?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Sauk Valley Resort

From the time you were officially a couple, how long did it take him to propose? 2 and a half years

Were finances an issue? A little bit. Fiance makes great money, but he had just gotten his current job when we got engaged, and he has a lot of student loan debt. He was trying to pay that down first, and he made a big dent in it, but he didn’t want to wait to propose.

Did you have to gently nudge him or did he just go for it? We talked marriage after about 3 months together, moved in together after a little over a year, and then at about 2 years he took me ring shopping, but he went on his own and bought my ring when he was ready.

At what point would you have been annoyed if he hadn’t? I think right around now I would be annoyed (a little over 3 years since we’ve “officially” been together)

Fiance probably would have married me as soon as we had the marriage talk 3 months into dating. His parents were only together for 6 months before they got married (I believe they dated 3 mo. and were engaged 3 mo.) and they were together for 37 years until Future Father-In-Law passed away recently.

I don’t think he’s taking too long to ask you, but I’d be getting anxious about it now, too. 

Post # 32
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

fairydust91 :  We had been a couple for 1 year and 2 months approx. I had said to him early on that I wanted marriage and children and that specifically I wanted to be married first. Both of us are a bit older. I was 35 when he proposed and he was 37. We will be 36 and 38 when we marry NEXT MONTH! SQUEEEE! 

We moved faster than maybe we would have done if your age because of the wanting children aspect. In terms of pregnancy I am not getting any younger. 

Tbh as hard as it is you need to be patient…it sounds like it’s not a million miles away. I know how hard it is though xxx

Post # 33
Member
9689 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We dated for 7 years before getting engaged. We started dating at 28 so yes, finances were absolutely an issue but there we also other goals we wanted to accomplish before marriage.

Personalky, I never had a walk date in mind. I knew my husband was who I wanted to be with and that we would get to marriage when the time was right. I have absolutely no regrets waiting as long as we did to get engaged and then married.

Post # 34
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

It took him 2 1/2 years from when we started dating.  Finances were not an issue as we already own our home together and have decent savings to pay for a wedding (not that that makes it much easier to spend such a gross amount of money).

We started talking about timelines about a year into our relationship and revisited the conversation every few months.  I wouldn’t have been ready to get engaged a year ago, even though I knew he was the one, and he knew that. Starting about 9 months ago I was ready, but okay waiting. Then he got the ring back in early June… Suddenly I wanted it immediately.

He waited 3 months (the timeline- that he set- gave him until next Saturday) and I about lost my mind. I broke down crying on Monday because it hadn’t happened yet. He made plans that night and proposed Thursday. So I’d say I nudged pretty hard and was already feeling annoyed.

My only advice is to tell him, in a non-accusatory way, that a year sounds long to you (if it does). He honestly might not have any idea. At one point my Fiance casually mentioned waiting until October and I got frustrated, and when I told him he didn’t even realize that was an issue and there was no reason he was planning on waiting.  

Good luck! And just remember how lucky you are to have a man you love and are ready to marry, regardless of the title!

Post # 35
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

I knew from our first date that this was someone I would seriously consider marrying. I was absolutely, positively sure maybe five months in, and I am generally the kind of person who needs a ton of time to make a decision. My last relationship, marriage didn’t even cross my mind until almost five years in. 

From the time you were officially a couple, how long did it take him to propose? 

It was just a fraction over two years, he was very anxious about getting engaged “too soon”, we had a conversation where we both decided we were ready for marriage at about 1 year eight months. 

Were finances an issue?
No, in that finances did not impact our ability to buy a ring or plan a wedding. We’d love to be earning more, but so far that’s mostly impacted our decision to buy a house more than anything. 

Did you have to gently nudge him or did he just go for it?
He brought it up first, quite early in the relationship. I agreed that I was ready to get married, and he balked a bit that people would think that our relationship wasn’t “real” if we were engaged too soon. Two years was a good amount of time in his mind, so that was when it happened. tongue-out

If you had to basically announce that you feel it’s time – how long did it take after that?

At what point would you have been annoyed if he hadn’t?

Honestly, I knew so early on in the relationship that he was the love of my life that two years felt like too long. But we were so open about everything, and I knew all the ins and outs of his feelings toward an engagement that it was much easier than if I’d been kept in the dark. If I didn’t know anything, I think 2.5 years would have been my limit. 

Post # 36
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

Just over 4 years. BUT we had my engagement ring for 14 months before he proposed. Long story with his divorce. Once his divorce was final he proposed 3 days later.  

Post # 37
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

My Fiance proposed after one year of dating. We talked about marriage, at what age we’d like to have kids, etc. openly throughout and it really helped me to know we were on the same page! We looked at rings together around 10 months. We also don’t have much money at the moment, as he lost his job shortly before we met and is back in school and my salarly isn’t very high. But we decided that we didn’t feel it was necessary to wait till things are better financially to get engaged (I told him I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money on the ring). And now we’re planning and saving up for the wedding together – which will be 1.5 years after he proposed. I was definitely a little impatient for a couple weeks before the proposal, since I knew it was coming but didn’t know exactly when! In the end the surprise was worth the anxiety; it was an amazing moment. I’m 29 and he’s 33.

Post # 38
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

fairydust91 :  We are very close to being engaged (already purchased the ring) after 10 months of dating and living together for 4 months. Before we met we had both had long term relationships and went into our relationship wanting marriage to be the end goal. 

I definetly bugged him and I do feel bad about that. At times he admits it put a lot of pressure on him so I had to force myself to relax. Like you I hate the thought of being just his gf because our relationship is so much more than that. 

Post # 39
Member
479 posts
Helper bee

fairydust91 :  if I were you, I would definitely wait. We got married pretty much with almost no savings.. it’s a nono.. it’s quite stressful starting with little savings.. be sure to reach a savings goal, a career milestone before getting married unless you are already living together. Even then, marriage creates this expectation so “shit finances” as you describe it will strain your marriage. I was in love when we got engaged but I regret not waiting a little longer.. you are still young. No rush. 

As for me, he took 10 months to propose.. we definitely talked about it v early on. Then got married 1.5 yrs.. we definitely love each other and that helps us get through some struggles but it would have been easier if we waited until we reached a certain financial goal and career milestones. 

Post # 40
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - The Palms Hotel and spa

From the time you were officially a couple, how long did it take him to propose? 6 years

Were finances an issue? Not really

Did you have to gently nudge him or did he just go for it? I told him 6 years was my end time cause I’m ready for babies

If you had to basically announce that you feel it’s time – how long did it take after that? The following year at 6 year mark

At what point would you have been annoyed if he hadn’t? I was annoyed after year 4 1/2

i just didn’t know what was taking him so long- I chose for us to not live together until we are married- I am starting to feel that guys feel that there is no need to get married until at least 30. I have friends that say they would be anxious after 2 years but we were in college so I was not pushing at all. I have a friend that waited 10years but they met in high school so I could somewhat understand. I feel every woman knows when it’s time and something inside us goes off. Hopefully he won’t make u wait much longer- I def wish it had not been 6 years for me

 

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/engaged-ladies-how-long-did-it-take-him-to-propose/#ixzz4sLeCumRO

Post # 41
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We got engaged within 2 months of being together and were married 2 years later, we both just knew it was right for us. We’ve been together 7 years all told and we are still like we were when we first got together totally goo goo about each other :). I know it’s not for everyone but it works for us. Finances were not an issue. 

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