(Closed) Engaged last of friends, married first?

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

She just needs to do what is best for her and her fiance. There is never a good time for anything in this world! (Going back to school, getting hitched, recessions, moving to different homes, having babies). Sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and get it done & live your life. As a friend, I would just say- whatever you decide I support you. (I’m not being harsh… it’s just true, there is never a good time for anything these days as busy as we all are!)

Post # 4
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I agree – the best plan is to find a venue and pick a date that’s based on what’s best for the bride and groom. No matter what date you pick there will be someone who can’t come. As Sparkles said, just give her that advice and let her know that you will be there!

Post # 5
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I can offer an anecdote of my own to this.  My Fiance and I will have been engaged a year and 7 mos by the time we get married.  While long engagements are fine for those who want/need them, it’s not what either of us wanted.  We wanted to get married in October, but my FI’s brother got married last June, and his family felt we should "give them their time" and not burden the family with 2 weddings within 4 mos of each other.  Although I felt it was plenty of time, I acquiesced and we set the date for the following May (2009).  So, now, FI’s brother and his wife are pregnant and due 8 days before our wedding!!  Once again our wedding will probably be put on the backburner, as this will be the first grandchild. 

I say all this to say — have YOUR wedding when YOU want!  As previous people mentioned, there will always be something that comes up, so if you just do it when you want, you save yourself a lot of time and worry. 

Post # 6
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

THe problem is that if you start accomodating other people’s "available" dates, then it gets hard to draw the line. Sure, you need to check with your parents. And then siblings. But if you start putting off your wedding because you other friends have weddings around the same date, or because one aunt can’t make it, it gets tough.

Your friend is already going to have a tough time finding a place that is available in 5 or 6 months, especially since that is "wedding season."

 And, like LNickle said, things definitely come up, like births in the family (happened with us too!). 

 If she tries to make everyone happy, she will soon realize that she’s NEVER going to make everyone happy- and in the end she’ll just end up super unhappy! 

So the best thing to do is pick a date that seems reasonable and is available at the place she wants, that works for both her and her groom, plus their parents, and be done. If people can’t make it, the show will go on!!! 

Post # 7
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

THe problem is that if you start accomodating other people’s "available" dates, then it gets hard to draw the line. Sure, you need to check with your parents. And then siblings. But if you start putting off your wedding because you other friends have weddings around the same date, or because one aunt can’t make it, it gets tough.

Your friend is already going to have a tough time finding a place that is available in 5 or 6 months, especially since that is "wedding season."

 And, like LNickle said, things definitely come up, like births in the family (happened with us too!). 

 If she tries to make everyone happy, she will soon realize that she’s NEVER going to make everyone happy- and in the end she’ll just end up super unhappy! 

So the best thing to do is pick a date that seems reasonable and is available at the place she wants, that works for both her and her groom, plus their parents, and be done. If people can’t make it, the show will go on!!! 

Post # 9
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

RazzamaShaz– perhaps it would be great if you could be there for your friend in the upcoming weeks. It sounds like she is anticipating that her family will push back a little when she tells them she wants to have her wedding. And one of the worst things is when you are so excited about your recent engagement, only to feel like it is a burden to your family. Just a thought! 🙂

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