(Closed) Engaged or married bees, what was your type of guy before dating your SOs?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How many out of 10 did your now SO reach?



    Mine reached all 10!

    Mine didn't reach any of them

  • Post # 2
    9519 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    One with a penis. Whoever was fun, treated me with respect, was kind to others. 

    I dated a very wide scope and didn’t limit to a type

    Post # 3
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    View original reply
    theatrejulia:  Same! I just looked for a connection and didn’t give much thought to looking for a particular type.

    Post # 4
    4239 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I dated pretty much anyone and everyone.  I dated the quiet dude, the tall dude, the short dude, the outgoing dude, the full-of-himself dude, the humble dude…I dated them all.  Or at least had first dates with all different kinds of people.  Boy do I have ridiculous first date stories.  I only seriously dated two guys before my husband.

    I actually found my 50 things for a “perfect” guy that I wrote when I was 20 or so and I had to laugh.  My husband doesn’t fit many of the “requirements” I had, but my 50 requirements now are very different.  For example I had a lot of physical traits on my initial list and now I look more for nonphysical traits…kindness, respect, responsibility, etc.

    Post # 5
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Backyard

    1) Enjoys having deeply spiritual conversations 

    2) Doesn’t have to be a virgin vbut does need to be willing to wait with me

    3) Must not be politically conservative 

    4) Not a gun owner

    5) Must at least tolerate bluegrass

    6) Creative type

    7) Not interested in being wealthy

    8) Loves serving others 

    9) Willing to go to church with me

    10) Deeply intelligent 

    These were just preferences and the first things that came to mind. My fiance waaaay exceeds these!

    Post # 6
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    What I wanted before:

    1. Traveller

    2. Speaks more than one language

    3. Musical

    3. Post secondary education

    4. No drugs

    5. No gambling

    6. Honest 

    My exes were all that I’ve asked for and more, but somehow all ended up as exes. My fiancé doesn’t fit the list of what I thought I wanted, but he’s a perfect fit for me. πŸ™‚ 

    Post # 7
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Id struggle to answer this one because I’ve never had the list. I know lots of girls that have but I never got it. I actually know someone who had a list of 30 bullet points and if a guy didn’t tick over 25 of the boxes, she was out. And her points always seemed really random to me. Things like ‘Must have a career that requires him to wear a suit. Suits must be well fitted’ or ‘Must be active and into playing sports but not watching them on television for more than X hrs a week’.

    Lists make dating WAY too statistical for me and I’m a firm believer of if it works, it works. I can make comments on who I have dated in the past though. My SO is the shortest guy I’ve ever been with. He’s still 6 ft so not short at all, it’s just so happens I’ve only been with taller people before him. He’s also the first non dark haired man I’ve been out with (apart from one blonde date I went on but that was a disaster! ) and I do admit, I was always attracted to dark haired guys but it’s not important enough to matter, just physical attraction always went in that direction for me and when I think of all my ‘movie crushes’, they are still all darker haired than my SO so I guess that’s a ‘type’. I’ve dated skinny, chunky and muscular guys and I obviously fancied all of them at the time or I wouldn’t have dated them.

    I have always been attracted to guys with a sense of humour and SO definitely has a great one. I find laughter sexy and its never gone anywhere with anyone who couldn’t make me laugh.

    I’ve dated a store assistant, barman, an optical assistant and when in college, fellow students so clearly there’s no dream job with me. Hobbies don’t really matter to me either. They’ve been outdoorsy, home bodies, nerdy, cool, creative types, clubbers… I also didn’t care so much about education. SO has a degree but I wouldn’t have cared if he didn’t.

    I probably sound like I will go with anyone, really not the case! I just don’t think I really have a type. So long as he’s respectful, loyal, funny and nice to people, I dont really care about the rest.

    Post # 8
    56 posts
    Worker bee

    I always dated the ‘bad boys’. Rebels, guys with a smirk and an attitude, who had lots of confidence and could always show me a good time. Physically, the only characteristic they all shared was ‘dark and handsome’ – always dark haired guys. They always had a great sense of fashion, a couple of them were smokers and/or drug users, most were very intelligent. Needless to say, dating the bad boys didn’t quite work out – I got my heart broken several times.

    Then I met my SO, and initially I wasn’t attracted to him at all! He’s fair-skin and light-haired, for one…Also super tall and muscular (I was always more into the leaner guys). He’s also soft-spoken and laid back, and doesn’t give off a macho attitude – no game at all haha. When we first met, he had no sense of fashion at all (I fixed that within a year). However, he’s everything I always wanted and never found in the bad boys, go figure πŸ™‚

    Post # 9
    62 posts
    Worker bee

    I never really made a list of requirements I found it limiting. I’ve dated red heads, short men, tall, chubby, athletic, cowboy ranch hands, college jocks, etc. 

     I would go on a few dates with just about anyone and let my feelings emerge as time went on. Let the guys show me who they were what they we like in different situations. Sometimes I didn’t feel more than friendship or pity or some other emotion. With those I was up front and honest about my feelings and most of us were friends for a time after that but it fell apart when I got serious with Fi. Funny thing is me and Fiance hated each other on first sight. I thought he was snobby and arrogant and he was mad my friend was using me as a barrier so they wouldn’t be alone ( she was using him for his money and later admitted he wasn’t hot enough for her ). But then we spent more time talking and hanging out and realized we have the same wicked sense of dry humor most people don’t get and I was head over heels and so was he. Funny how things change. 


    Post # 11
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016



    Post # 12
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    princessbee1991:  my type before my husband was .. Eh… The wrong type? Lol. I only dated one other guy (like officially dated, I still had multiple umm auditions lol) but although he was pretty on the outside he was a terrible person on the inside. 

    Like my dad always says “you can cover a turd in gold but it’s still just a piece of crap” 

    He was “tall dark and handsome” so I guess that was my type. 


    As far as requirements now

    -must be faithful physically and emotionally

    -family oriented 

    -doesn’t try to change me or make me feel bad for things I can’t change about myself

    -wanted one child

    -and most importantly, that he was my best friend

    I couldn’t care less about looks (like I said I dated a  sparkly turd for 7 years) but I ended up with a pretry cute guy that takes good care of me and loves me even when I’m an ass Haha 

    Post # 13
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m bisexual, so…my previous relationships weren’t even all guys!

    Post # 14
    19 posts
    • Wedding: August 2017

    View original reply
    finikpalma:  same here, my guy is NOTHING like the guys I always dated. never ad it so good! So glad I changed my ways πŸ’–

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