Engaged! Ring pics and question

posted 11 months ago in Rings
  • poll: Who's right?
    He's right. Wear the ring he gave you and don't complain. : (64 votes)
    74 %
    You're right. That is not an every day ring. : (13 votes)
    15 %
    Other : (9 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 16
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    lisaeversman :  I hear you, you’ve probably never worn something like that before on a daily basis. At the same time, it’s worth it and your fiance feels you’re worth it. It’s a stunner.

    Wear it for a bit and if it’s too much, get it reset into a solitare as that would be less overwhelming on a daily basis and save the halo stones for an eternity band. 

    Either way, congrats Bee!

    Post # 17
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    Clarification: most people don’t wear rings like that on a daily basis (myself included). Sorry, my original post sounded rude/snarky, which I didn’t mean. 🙂

    Post # 19
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    I agree with other bees saying get it insured and wear it! I do have to say I think it’s unreasonable of you to expect him to spend another $1300 on a second ring, but if this really isn’t your style then you should talk to him about returning it and getting something more suited to you. A ring shouldn’t be a burden. 

    Post # 20
    3840 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

    lisaeversman :  How about a compromise with your fiancée? You said he got it years ago, so clearly he didn’t know you and couldn’t choose according to your style. Why not maybe ask him if you can set the diamond, which is amazing, into a new setting? Get a setting you will love. Then, use the diamonds from the halo to make your wedding band with. So you’re using everything he bought and proposed with, but you can get an engagement ring setting that is more you. I think that would be a great compromise since he’s had this ring for some time and didn’t know what his future bride would want in a setting. 

    Post # 21
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    lisaeversman :  I’m impressed that you’re okay with it but when you’re in love and it’s right, things like that aren’t a big deal. With that said, while I understand your FH’s hurt feelings, it is 100% understandable that you might want something that speaks to you and him. Your ring is so lovely and I think it would serve great as a special occasion ring or a RHR but I’d be incline to get something that you love & are comfortable with. Maybe split the cost? 


    Post # 22
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I completely understand. I’m a very simple jewelry woman myself. I just couldn’t wear it. So, I discussed it with my fiancee and we found a ring that I don’t ever want to take off. You have to make sure you are happy with it. Are you going to look down everyday and worry or are you going to enjoy it? It is a gorgeous ring, that is a fact. As my fiancee said, don’t start a marriage being unhappy with it’s symbol.

    Post # 23
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State


    If your *only* concern is about wear and tear on the ring with daily wear, I agree with the others that you should get it insured and wear it. 

    However, if it were me, I would just be plain uncomfortable wearing a ring that size. I don’t wear much jewlery, I usually wear casual or sporty clothes, live an active and outdoorsy life, and I’m a nurse. I’d also be afraid of being a target for muggers since that happens around where I live a lot these days. So if you have other reasons to not wear it, and he didn’t ask for your input on what you’d want, then you’d be totally justified for wanting something that you’d be comfortable wearing everyday. 

    Getting a more daily-friendly wedding band is a good suggestion too, one that you can switch around and wear alone. Using the stones to create a new setting that is suited to you could be a good idea too, but perhaps part of the reason it was so expensive was because of the details.. and it seems like you do like the setting itself. 

    Post # 24
    109 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would feel quite uncomfortable with that ring. It isn’t personal at all and doesn’t seem to be your style. Way too huge for me. I think that may be the problem. Your pictures you shared are completely different. I agree with others, use that center stone and put it in a setting that you love. Just share your thoughts with him and see how he feels about it. Maybe he will be understanding. I guess the question is, do you like the way it looks? I’m sure you like that it’s your ring, but do you really like it?

    Post # 25
    46 posts

    I’m with you. I don’t think this is an every day ring. Although I don’t think I’d want to spend another 1300 on an every day ring. I’d just wait until the wedding and get a nice wedding band with moissanites in it like the eternity band style of moissanites all around. And just wear that wedding band daily after the wedding with the engagement ring only on special occasions without the wedding band. I do feel like that engagement ring is extremely over the top. I like it. But I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing it every day either. 

    Post # 26
    26 posts
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I would wear it now, and plan with him to buy a wedding set that is really to your taste. It’s pretty easy to say that it’s not a practical everyday ring due to it’s size and a nice moissy could be your day to day one for work etc when you are married. 

    You might find the size is okay with you after a while. At first my 2 carat moissy felt huge but now it just feels normal to me.

    Post # 27
    2510 posts
    Sugar bee

    Personally I don’t like it at all and I think he should have considered your tastes rather than just giving you this ring because he had it. If you like it, keep it. Otherwise I’d consider trading it in for something you like better, or getting the center stone reset if you like the canary diamond. I think it would look lovely as a solitaire or a three stone ring. You could trade in the setting, or have it reset with a gemstone to wear as a cocktail ring (maybe an aquamarine or sapphire for your something blue?). 

    Post # 28
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    longtimemrs :  You have great advice!

    I felt the same way about my ring. I think it’s normal to be concerned about having $$$ on your finger and my jeweler told me something similar when I expressed concern for my stone choice. Jewelry is meant to be worn! Wear it with pride, wear it with love and wear it with joy! Your ring is gorgeous!!!

    Post # 29
    5972 posts
    Bee Keeper

    lovegrowshere :  Thanks so much for the kind words! (Sorry for the delayed reply. I’ve been out of town for the holidays, so I haven’t been on social media — other than a quick instagram post here and there. I feel so out of the loop! LOL!!)

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