(Closed) Engaged sister

posted 11 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your boyfriend can mention that he’s had the ring for more than a year when he asks permission from your parents to marry you~ It would be a very appropriate time to bring it up.

Post # 18
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Dont tell about the ring in the cupboards. At least that’s my vote. The more you “justify” your engagement the more guilty you seem (in copying her!).

Just don’t steal her thunder, be thrilled for her still and be happy for yourself. It doesn’t have to be her OR you, it can be both.

Post # 19
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

lol i misread the title of this post as “enraged sister”….glad that’s not the case!

Post # 20
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@smilingbride: My sister and her BF are probably going to get engaged two weeks after our wedding (4.5 weeks away!! eee!!) on a vacation to Paris, and I’m a little bummed I have to wait that long to be rediculously excited for her!!! My future-BIL partially doesn’t want to rain on our parade (so thoughful of him) and partially wants a romantic european proposal, but niether of those things would matter to me or my FH if he didn’t wait it out. We just want her to be happy and have the same joy we are experiencing right now ๐Ÿ™‚

Congratulations ahead of time! Post about it when it happens and let us know the details! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I sorta know how you feel about being “devestated” because i worry that it’s going to happen to me.  my Fiance and i got engaged a week ago but i haven’t told my family because I want to tell them in person and I’ll be going home near the begining of march for  a mini-vacation.  I keep fearing my cousin is going to announce her engagment before i get mine out and then i’ll feel like the “copy cat”.  so i can totally relate.  And it doesn’t help that my aunt (mom of same cousin) is ALWAYS asking me when we are planning to get married.  The first time she met my now Fiance she asked when we were getting married…we had only been together a few months.  And since then EVERY holiday or family event she asks me and my sister when we are getting married.  She’s always bringing up age.  Umm, I’m 26 and my sister is 22.  The last time she brought it up she said “he’s 30, he should be getting married” and i was like “umm..he’s 31” and she’s like “oh! well that’s different he needs to get married asap” and so i said “we aren’t getting married” haha.  Every time she asks me i always tell her “never”…sorry i got off track, but my point is… if my cousin should announce her engagment before me, I worry that my aunt will feel i am copying cause i was trying to play catch up because  we are “old”

 

Post # 23
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh how I feel your pain. My fiance and I have been engaged since dec. of 09. But we wanted to wait and have a long engagement so our daughter could be our flower girl. Well, we had been kicking around the idea of setting a date when I got a call that my 17 year old cousin was engaged to a man she had been with for about ^ months. I almost had a heart attack. My aunt told me there was no differnece between my cousin getting married and me getting married when i told her a month later we had set our date. I was furious. I have been living with my Fiance for a year and a half!!! And we have a child together!!! My cousin wasnt even 18 or out of high school when she got engaged. Did i mention I recently found out she cheated on her FI?? Well when push came to shove came to shove my fi and i had to postpone our wedding. Our original date was nov. 27 2010. But our budget didnt provide an option with our daughter first xmas and first bday around the corner. My cousin is planning o getting married within a month of her hs graduation and she turnd 18 in August. I really don’t think shes ready for marriage, and shes trying for a child. Did i mention she still lives with her parents and 2 younger sisters? i know shes making a mistake but when i try to talk to someone (her, my aunt, whoever) they think I’m just an envy bride, which I’m not lol, i really wish her the best. But she doesnt understand that with marriage and children, becoming a doctor will be extremely hard…. ugh… sorry i vented on you lol.

Did i mention that she also stole my dream wedding venue? I’m just exhausted, and she has the mental level of a 15 year old that love HS drama?…

Post # 24
Member
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

When is your two-year anniversary? June is really not that far away at this point. While I believe that you and your boyfriend should be able to get engaged whenever it’s right for you, it may be more enjoyable for you to wait till after your sister’s wedding.

That said, if you want to get engaged now, then go for it. I personally wouldn’t get too hung up with your family on how long you’ve had the ring—you shouldn’t have to justify anything.

Congratulations on being so close to engagement!

Post # 25
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@smilingbride: ooooh kay. That does change things! ๐Ÿ™‚ I do feel your pain on that though. My very good friend and roommate was engaged about 7 months before I was and my inital feeling was jealousy and frustration that I would have to watch her do all the fun stuff and be happy and move on with her life and I would just be sitting there like a bump on a log, waiting for my turn. Eventually, I got over myself (even though that feeling never exactly went away), and I really enjoyed her wedding. Now, just a year later, she is really enjoying helping me plan mine! And I got most of my ideas from her wedding! haha.. 

Bottom line, I think you two should get engaged when it is right for you to get engaged. If you know it’s going to intentionally hurt your sister, or be too close to her exciting time, wait. Your time will be here SO fast… and what’s a couple extra months?

Post # 26
Member
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’d say you can get engaged whenever the time is right for your SO and you! The only time you should not get engaged is at their wedding, or their rehearsal dinner or a shower or anything like that. ๐Ÿ™‚

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