Post # 1
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
Hi bees!
A few weeks ago I posted here for support after I’d had an emotional conversation with my partner about engagement where he said he didn’t want to discuss it.
The majority of the responses told me that he didn’t want to marry me, I shouldn’t have bought a house with him, I should be putting our house up for sale until he commits etc etc.
Well it turns out he didn’t want to talk about it because the ring was on its way and he can’t keep a secret. He had the ring a grand total of 10 minutes before giving me a beautiful proposal.
Had I listened to the advice here this might have been very different. Tread carefully before you give such harsh, judgemental comments next time.
With many best wishes!
PS – lab grown diamond, and 2 rubies, 18k white gold. Exactly what I wanted!
Post # 2
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
Woohoo! Can we see the ring? It sounds beautiful.
Post # 4
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
Thank you!! Here it is 🙂
Post # 5
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
Congrats!!!! I love your rubies!!
Post # 6
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
It’s beautiful! I agree sometimes the advice given tends to be a bit harsh. It’s easier to tell someone what to do when you aren’t in their shoes. That’s the beauty of the internet. Lol
Wishing you the best! Congratulations!!!
Post # 8
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
Congrats! Beautiful ring.
I agree with you. Id like to see what some of these people lives are like that are giving advice 🙄
Post # 9
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
blondebeet : Congrats.
I tried to go back and see what was said in the previous about your convo and the advice given but it looks to be deleted.
Oh well. Glad it worked out for you. Happy planning.
Post # 10
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
I deleted the thread because it was page after page of comments telling me I should leave him. The negativity was overwhelming so I just deleted it and tried not to think about it, which I’m so glad I did.
Thank you!
somathemagical :
Post # 11
Member
2737 posts
Sugar bee
congrats! My now husband did kind of the same thing, told me it would be a few years due to finances, we fought on it, then I agreed to drop it and wait a few years (which I was fine with as it had only been a year of dating). But all along he was in the process of purchasing a ring and planning a proposal. I mentioned this on another board and was told by other bees how disrespectful it was of him to do that, etc etc.
Glad you trusted your man and your gut!!
Post # 12
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI
So happy for you bee! The other bees just want to protect you. Had you left he’d have communicated his plan sooner and you wouldn’t have had so much stress thinking “what is the hold up”. I don’t know why men insist on lying to us and keeping us in the dark to the point of anger and depression all for the special surprise. I’d rather have clear communication. So glad it worked out for you!
Post # 13
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
Yeah. Some bees are harsh. That’s why you don’t follow a stranger’s advice on the internet. You can take it for what it’s worth, a stranger’s advice…. I +1 what a PP said, I’d like to see some of the lives if bees who give that advice. They are always quick to jump to conclusions and to me seem like that have never learned patience or compromise.
Happy for you, bee!
Post # 14
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
I’m an outlier, I suppose. I’d prefer honesty over an upcoming surprise. I’d rather be told “the ring is on order” then have my partner shut down and refuse to discuss engagement/marriage out of an attempt to keep a surprise proposal a secret.
Post # 15
Member
8937 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Congratulations. That kind of communication, or lack of, would not work for me, but since you’re ok with it, I’m glad things turned out how you wanted. Now you know that when he shuts down and refuses to talk about something, it means a sweet surprise is sure to follow.
