(Closed) Engaged vs. Pregnant 2 different things

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Normal yes, annoying… hell yes. 

We’ve been married for a year, so people are CERTAIN that the next big step is going to be any minute.

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah that is annoying when they assume the “natural order of things” is going to progress right away if it does at all. I get comments about babies all of the time from my dad which is awkward since he’s not very involved in my life and wants me to give him grand-babies asap! I don’t think so…

I think the only reason I avoid this from the rest of my family is because they know I have a little bit of time before I finish up my degree and one of my cousins is pregnant. All of the baby attention goes to her. I’m worried about getting attention from my FI’s side since his sister keeps broadcasting that she won’t have babies for a long long time and that we will have babies first. 

Post # 5
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I get this ALL THE TIME, and for some annoying reason the comments are directed pretty much exclusively at me, as if all of my hopes and dreams now have to be cast away and new ones must appear in the form of a child. Right. This. Instant.

I want a career that requires a lot of travel. Mr. Fish will be in the Marines for the next 20 years. I’m not super motherly. And neither of us really feels like kids are something we need- or even want- to have. We’d like to spend what free time we have enjoying each other’s company.

We might as well have told them we worship Satan and eat puppies for dinner.

Post # 6
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Haha yep pretty normal. I’m 23 and Fiance is 25 and people are asking us about babies already…I’d like to wait for about 4 more years or so. My best friend has her fingers crossed for a honeymoon baby though lol.

Post # 7
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh I just remembered something. My FI’s SIL was pregnant last year when his sister got married. During their honeymoon the SIL kept texting them on their HONEYMOON goading them on about having a honeymoon baby just so that her baby would have a new cousin to play with. His sister doesn’t even want kids for at least five years and everybody knows this. We’ve decided that phones only go with us for driving emergencies and get to stay in the hotel the rest of the time for the honeymoon. Either that or I might put a temporary block on some numbers. Wink

Post # 8
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Miss Fish: [email protected] worshipping Satan & eating puppies. I totally get where you’re coming from though.  Neither my Fiance or I has any desire to procreate anytime soon… and we’re in our mid/late 20s.  We’re kind of on the fence about whether we want any at all, though.  It’s not a deal breaker for either of us.. and at this point neither of us sees having a child as a necessity.  But that’s the first thing people ask about… I’m like dang, can we get married first?  Really.

Post # 9
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

haha I avoided those comments mostly by living so far from my family that they don’t want me to have babies until I am close enough for them to visit. Literally the first thing my mom said when we got engaged was that I better promise her not to have babies until I live near her.

Post # 10
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

Funny story:

We got pregnant by surprise about 5 or 6 months into our marriage.  We were planning on having babies but this was a total shock to us…we weren’t planning on it so quickly.  When I told my Irish Catholic grandmother she gasped for about .1 seconds and then responded, “Well, I’m not that surprised!”

Um what Grandma???  I replied, “Oh really, because we were!?!”  

Sometimes I think religion might play a role too.  I’m Catholic so this isn’t me bashing that religion at all, but I think the reason my Grandma said that is because in the Catholic religion it’s just kinda “normal” to have babies right after getting married.  

Try not to let it worry you!  Or just ask them when they are having one/another one? 🙂

Post # 11
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yes, that’s normal unfortunately!  I just got married in April and now anytime I have any kind of physical abnormality people ask if I’m pregnant.  I gave blood in June and fainted; I tend to get light-headed when I give blood, but this was the first time I fainted.  I know it was probably because I didn’t take enough time to sit and sip juice, eat a snack, etc…  Anyway, when I told people about it, I had at least 3 people ask if I was pregnant.  Prior to getting married, people never asked me if I was pregnant at the least little thing.  It is actually a little rude of people to ask because a lot of people don’t even want to announce their pregnancies early on.  Just give people a polite smile and say “We’ll see how life unfolds” and walk away.   

Post # 12
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It only gets worse once you are married.

 I got married in October and babies come up all the time. We are not currently trying, hubby is finishing up his PhD this year and we don’t want to get pregnant before then. Anytime I get so much as a headache everyone thinks I am pregnant.

 Last Wednesday I got some kind of stomach bug at the end of the work day and got very sick before leaving. Well I took the next day off because I still felt awful and by the time I got back to work on Friday everyone ( I work in an office with 8 other women) was convinced I was pregnant. The fun part was when it came up in our staff meeting and I had to break the news that I am indeed NOT pregnant.

 It’s funny now, but at the time it was pretty embarrassing.

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think its normal. Thats where everyones mind goes after you get married but it is extremely annoying!! My friends are going through this right now… I on the other hand had a baby with my Fiance before we even got engaged so people leave us alone about the subject. But I can imgaine how frustrating!! My friends rant all the time about how annoying it is.

Post # 14
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

The worst of this that I ever saw was at a friend’s wedding. Two of the guests had a newborn, and brought the baby to the reception for a half hour or so to show her around. The groom’s mother took the baby and went over and put her in the bride’s arms, much to the bride’s surprise. Then she said “Yes, this will be you soon enough – I can’t wait!” while the bride looked like a deer in headlights.

Poor girl – standing in her wedding dress at her wedding reception, less than an hour after getting married!

She stuck to her guns though – that was in 2007, and they still don’t have a baby (they always said they wanted to wait 5 years). Take that, MIL!

Post # 15
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Completely normal and will happen much more after you get married. I was at a BBQ a couple of weekends ago and my older aunt came up to me and told me that it’s okay that I don’t have a baby yet and she’s keeping us in her prayers that it happens soon. Because I have been married for almost a year and am not pregnant it’s like people automatically assume I have fertility issues. How about the fact that I am still taking the pill and not trying for a baby lol

Post # 16
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Fiance mom always brings it up how she wants a grandbaby and blah blah blah, but we want to be married for a while before we have children. We actually arent even 100% we want to have children at all but thats another post lol

Well, last week Fiance mom was going on about how she bought baby clothes at the thrift store and Fiance told his mom he got his tubes tied…(even though he really didnt) That shut her up

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