(Closed) Engaged! Where to begin?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

ah – I feel the same way. I have no idea where to start. My first step was to buy a wedding planning book. And to get together a prelim guest iist so I know what to expect for size of venues and size of budget. 

Post # 4
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sort of with you in this point – I just got engaged with plans to wed in 2014.  I think the most important part is to pick a venue and date, but before being able to pick a venue, I think you need to agree on a “theme” so-to-speak.  Are you going with the more traditional?  Modern?  Garden?  Rustic?  Etc – what TYPE of venue based on your idea of the type of wedding – then narrow it down to dates.  This ALL goes after budget. 

So -Budget, Theme, Venue/Date – and then go from there!  That’s how I’m planning to attack it.  And, I think theknot has a checklist and a budget calculator.

Post # 5
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015


I’m planning for 2014 as well! So far I have:

– Set a date

– Picked a theme/color scheme

– Set a budget

– Sent out Engagement Announcements

– Started a preliminary guest count

– Found my venue. (Kind of, sigh)

– Found my photographer!

– Set up dress shopping appointments!

Post # 6
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I was so lost when we first started planning…I think the best thing to do is set up a bunch of appointments with vendors. You’ll get lots of new ideas and you need to meet with lots of people anyway so it’s a good way to start 🙂 Plus it’s so exciting!

AND start your guest list…all of your vendors will need to know how many people you are expecting. That’s step one!

Have fun!!

Post # 7
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Set a date

choose your colors

rough number of guest being invited

find and book a venue

choose your bridal party

send out save the dates if you plan on doing so 8-12 months before the wedding

Take a little break and research research research DJ, photographer, transportation, catering if your venue is not all inclusive.


Post # 8
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would start at weddingwire.com with their budget tool and checklist. Both are really good starting points and easy to adjust. I would start thinking about what you want your wedding to be like in terms of the following major things:

  • Budget (large or small, who is contributing)
  • Guestlist (try to actually write down the names of everyone you want invited and divide it into 4 groups [your family, your FI’s family, your friends, your FI’s friend])
  • Formality
  • Date and Time (Evening [most popular and expensive], Afternoon, Morning), (Saturday [most popular and expensive, easiest for your guests], Sunday/Friday, Weekday), Month (most places have off seasons which are cheaper)

Once you have those things figured out you can start looking at venues and thinking about colors/theme

Post # 9
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The Knot – I had no idea where to start and their website is great!

Post # 10
1511 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I felt completely lost when we started planning as well (and, to be honest, I still feel a little lost from time to time).  We started off by discussing the general time we’d like to be married and ended up settling on a date of November 9th.  

After that, we figured out an approximate number of guests we’d like to have.  We haven’t started an official guest list yet, but we know we’d ideally like to cap it at 175 people (or less!).

We then started looking at venues (we went to 5 places), and have only recently (as in the last couple of days) made a decision.  I contacted the girl we met with to set up an appointment for next week to sign the contract and put down the deposit.

I’d say those are some of the most important things.  Setting a budget is a good idea, but we honestly haven’t set one.  We’ve just said, “I’d prefer not to spend more than x amount, but if we go over by a bit, that’s okay too.”  I realize this approach will not work for everyone, but it’s the way we’ve decided to go about it.

By the way, I’m looking at what all of the 2014 brides have already done and it makes me feel like I’m really slacking in the planning department!  I still don’t know which color palette we’re going with, we have no real “theme” (though I don’t really want one), we haven’t sent out save the dates (we haven’t even bothered to do an engagement photo session, which I’m actually wanting less and less), I haven’t tried on any dresses, etc. 

Post # 11
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

How exciting! I used theknot.com – they have checklists, budgeting tools, guest list managers, etc. This is roughly what we did – 

1. Budget

2. Figure out what’s important. To us we wanted to make sure all of our family and friends could have a big party. Some people want an intimate destination wedding. What do you want? 

3. Rough guest list – not finalized but to get a rough idea of how large your venue should be.

4. Venue(s) – Ceremony and/or reception venue

5. Details details details – catering, bridal party, photographer, DJ, colors and everything else. 

Post # 12
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I started off by setting the date and then working out a rough idea for the guest list, knowing what our approximate numbers were meant we knew which venues to look at.

I also joined a few UK wedding forums to look for advice and tips. we also set an initial budget to work towards.

We put together a ‘What you MAY need list’ obviously it depends on the type of wedding that you have, but I found it helpful to tick off bits as I went along, also helped me deal with one thing at a time, it is pretty overwhelming when you first start to plan 


  • Save The Dates


  • Invitations


  • RSVP’s


  • Guest Book and Pen


  • Place Cards


  • Table Plans


  • Order of Service/Day

  • Favours


  • Centre Pieces


  • Bouquets


  • Button Holes


  • Pew Ends


  • Candles


  • Vases


  • Cake


  • Cake Toppers

  • Caterer (Veg and Kids Options if required)


  • Reception Drinks


  • Table Drinks


  • Cake Stand


  • Cake Knife

  • Rings


  • Dress


  • Bridesmaid Dresses


  • Flower Girl Dresses


  • Bridesmaid and FlowerGirl Accesories (Jewellery & Shoes)


  • Your Shoes


  • Garter


  • Hoop or Underskirt


  • Veil


  • Tiara/Headband/Flower


  • Lingerie


  • Alterations


  • Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Sixpence in her shoe

  • Giving Notice


  • Booking in the Registrar


  • Appointment with Vicar if a church ceremony


  • Ceremony Venue


  • Reception Venue


  • Request Extra Copies of Marriage Certificate prior to day for name changing purposes

  • Grooms Suit


  • Grooms Accessories (Cufflinks, Shoes etc)


  • Groomsmen – Suit or Accessories


  • Grooms Shoes


  • Brides Hair and Make Up


  • Hair Extensions


  • Pedicure


  • Manicure


  • Waxing


  • Eyebrows


  • Entertainment


  • Thank you Gifts


  • Grooms Gift (if doing)


  • Kids Packs


  • Table Names/Numbers


  • Guest Baskets for the Toilets


  • Sweetie Buffet Jars, Scoops and Bags


  • Props for Photo Booth if having


  • Photographer


  • Videographer


Post # 14
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@applecore:  thanks for the list!  That helps me a lot. I’m trying to manage a May 2013 wedding when all I’ve bought is shoes and 5 centerpiece vases!  Lol

Post # 15
1381 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with PPs who said to choose date/venue/set up budget/theme first. Do ALL that first and don’t get caught up with smaller details just yet. Also, do NOT go dress shopping too early on in the game. Congrats on getting engaged!

Post # 16
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

As I have said to anahappilyeverafter in a PM

I ordered this book off of amazon… Wedding Bible Planner by Sarah Haywood (ISBN-10: 0954712919    ISBN-13: 978-0954712914)

Costs just under £30 but it is absolutley amazing.  It’s split into loads of sections, ceremony, reception, flowers, photography, wardrobe, stationary etc. and each section has a pocket so you can put notes and business cards in it.  We went to a few wedding shows and picked up every leaflet and business card going and when I got home I just put it all into the sections so when we are then ready to book certain things I can just go to that section and start ringing around and see who can sort the best deals.

We’ve got our church and venue booked for 6th Septemeber 2014 and I have started to make the ‘Save the Dates’.  And I have a mock of the wedding invitation done aswell so I know what that will look like and they are actually ready to print off.  I am giong to make them all myself.  Also chosen a colour theme, that’s it.  I have bought a dress too but I don’t know if I’ll use it, that’s all

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