(Closed) Engaged within months of meeting, marry shortly thereafter: Good idea, Bad idea?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you think of meeting someone and marrying them within 12-18 months?
    It may work out, but generally, you shouldn't get married during the honeymoon period. : (41 votes)
    23 %
    It may work out, but you can't know someone well enough to marry them so soon. : (36 votes)
    20 %
    That's a terrible idea. Why not wait until you can be more sure you can be married forever? : (37 votes)
    21 %
    Getting married within a year of meeting is a bad idea, but over a year sounds fine... : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Why wait when you already know you want to be with that person forever? : (5 votes)
    3 %
    It's a risk, but why not go for it? Marriage is about having faith that it can last. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    When you know, you know. : (14 votes)
    8 %
    I think it depends on the age/maturity level of the people involved. : (40 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 2
    678 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

    I feel like you’ve got to see all sides of the person you’re pledging to spend a life time with. Can you see and experince everything you need to in a year? Maybe. But i think that if it’s true love, if it’s strong, if it’s ginuine. It will wait. 

    Post # 3
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    countingstars:  My grandparents met while my grandfather was on holiday, corresponded by telegram and letter for 3 months, he travelled back, proposed and they got married basically while he was on leave still, she moved across country to be with him and they embodied together in sickness and in health for richer or poorer until death parted them… It can work, but that doesn’t mean it always does…


    Post # 4
    1612 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    countingstars:  My parents were married less than a year after they starting dating. The started dating around October 1975, got engaged around May 1976 and were married in September 1976. I came along in July 1977. Now my mom was 40 and my dad was 43 and they knew they wanted a partner in life. And had the maturity to make that decision that quickly. They were together until my dad passed away in 1994.

    Post # 5
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My husband and I were married 11 months after we met and we’re just fine! We were 38 and 41 though, which I think makes a huge difference. I wouldn’t recommend it for someone in their 20s.

    Post # 6
    963 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with what you said. I think it can feel right early on, but that doesn’t mean that it is right. Divorce makes me sad and I feel it’s way too common these days. People don’t take marriage as seriously, I guess.

    Time doesn’t mean everything though.  I have known people who were dating for many years before they got married, and then the marriage lasted no more than a year. 

    I think that if you know someone who is rushing into marriage, all you can really do is wish them the best and support them. 

    Post # 7
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I believe that sometimes marriages work and sometimes they won’t. Sometimes it’s best for people to be together for years, sometimes it’s best for them to jump straight in. I don’t feel it’s ever right to judge someone else’s relationship based on arbitrary things which ultimately have no meaning. Whether a relationship is good, and whether it works is dependant 100% on the people involved, and not whether or not they follow particular ‘rules’. It’s not a one size fits all and people should do what works for them, not what other people say they ‘should’ do.

    Post # 8
    5226 posts
    Bee Keeper

    countingstars:  Its not a fair question. Every couple is different. For some people, it would be a bad idea. For others, it works. Like I said in the other thread, I met, got engaged, and married my husband all with in 12 weeks. 7 years leter, I have no regrets. Does that mean that everyone should do that? No. Does it mean that my relationship is more than/less than other relationships? No. It is what it is. 

    Some people get married right away and it doesn’t work. Some people wait and it doesn’t work. There is no “one size fits all” time line. 

    Post # 9
    974 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    countingstars:  I think that it can work, but I would never ever recommend it. I think more than likely if won’t work out and it ends in heart break. I don’t truly believe you can know someone in less than a year. 

    People will give you example after example of all the short dating relationships that have ended in happy marriages, but I truly think they’re the exception.

    Post # 11
    5226 posts
    Bee Keeper

    ZebraPrintMe:  + 1000 

    Well said. We shouldn’t be judging other people’s relationships. Get the popcorn…..this isn’t going to end well.

    Post # 13
    2783 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    There is no “long enough”. How many times do you see posts on the bee where the couple were together for years and he cheated/became violent/changed dratsically, and she never saw it coming? Bad stuff can happen, and relationships can fall apart at 5 years and at 25 years. And who is the perosn that decides when it’s been long enough?

    My parents were engaged at six months, and just celebrated their 31 anniversary. I truly believe that when you know, you know,and it’s not up for others to judge. It you want to wait longer that is totally your prerogative, but I don’t think one is better than the other, nor do I think it is anyone’s place to judge someone else’s relationship.


    Post # 13
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Bridey77:  I agree. Threads like these seem to be set up intentionally to judge and put down others, but communities like this should support each other and respect one another’s life choices.

    It isn’t going to end well.

    Post # 15
    186 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think it depends on how old you are. I feel like by the time you’re in your late twenties, you know what you’re looking for.

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