(Closed) engaged without a ring?

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

We got engaged without a ring. I just used a ring he gave me when we first started dating until we could afford an actual engagement ring. I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting engaged before you get the ring but a lot of people seem to think that if the guy can’t afford a ring he shouldn’t propose in the first place. To each their own I guess.

Post # 4
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Depends on the person.  If it’s someone that likes jewelry and all that, I’d think they just weren’t serious.  If it’s someone who just doesn’t seem like the engagement ring type, and they say they are going to do something else instead, I guess that’s cool.  For me personally, it’s not real without the ring!  But that’s kind of judgey and to each their own.

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Yes, you can do whatever you want!  I know a few people that have gotten engaged without a ring and gotten a ring later.  To me, it’s not the same though.  I feel like the words are more meaningful with the ring, because the ring is the symbol for the promise to marry…my boyfriend agrees, otherwise, we’d be engaged already!

Post # 6
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you are planning a wedding, then you are engaged! Start booking your vendors and sending out save the dates, no one will be able to claim that it’s not a real engagement then 😛

Post # 7
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t see why not. The decision to get married is not tied to a piece of jewelry. 

Also, engagement rings are more common in North America/certain Western cultures. In much of the rest of the world there are not engagement rings involved. I’m the first one in my family to have one!

Post # 8
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

Personally I’m not too big on tradition because I could care less about what’s been done in the past and what people think. But at the same time I would want something on my finger to symbolize to the world that I’m happily engaged and off the market. Even if it was just a simple silver band. But to be engaged with nothing physical to symbolize it would be a bit akward.

Post # 10
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

i got engaged without a ring and i did tell people straight away because i knew they would ask to see the ring. when my friends found out they were upset but understood why i didnt tell them. i didnt get my ring until the day before the courthouse ceremony. (we only had a two month engagement)

now im dealing with another ring issue. since we are having a REAL ceremony that will include family and friends on our one year anniversary, my ring will only be a year old and i dont think we should purchase another. Now we have to find a way to have the ceremony without exchanging any rings

Post # 11
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lilsweetie:  It’s sad that some people think you NEED a ring to be engaged. A couple’s engagement is a commitment of love between them, a piece of jewelery might be a symbol to it but doesn’t give it more or less meaning.

If you feel you need a ring to be engaged that’s totally fine but keep in mind other people might consider a ring just a piece of jewelery so it’s not fair to think a ring is a must in an engagement.

 

I was engaged without a ring, eventually my Fiance surprised me with one and as much as I like the ring it doesn’t mean he loves me more or less or is more or less commited with me than before he gave me the ring.

Post # 12
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t want an engagement ring, because I have many rings that I love already.  I don’t like wearing more than one on a finger, so when I start wearing my wedding ring, I’ll only be able to wear one of those rings on my right hand.  If I’d gotten an engagement ring, that would have taken up the right hand and I’d never get to wear my other rings anymore.  🙁 

Post # 13
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree that this is a personal choice. One thing to consider, however, is that society as a whole (I’m talking of American society here, not sure where you live), does expect a woman to have a ring when she is engaged. So if you are perfectly happy not having one, consider yourself engaged, are actively planning a wedding, I don’t think it’s fair to get frustrated and annoyed when people ask, “Where’s the ring?!” I think you would have to go into the situation ready with your patient reply and ready for people to judge you for your preference. I think most younger, open-minded people would know not to ask about a ring. Just like we know not to talk about having children when a couple is married, with fertility being an issue or personal choice not to have children. But older generations are still very much stuck on these traditions and they can be a little obsintate in opening their minds to that fact that not all women want an engagement ring or a big wedding or a white dress, or to have children, etc. 

So I guess my point is that, do what makes YOU happy, but also do it knowing that not everyone will understand, so just make sure you are patient with those who might not understand your perspective. 

 

Post # 14
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We didn’t go the e-ring route. We wanted to use the money on other things. When people found out I was engaged, they would always ask about a ring. It didn’t bother me to tell them we were using the money we would have spent toward that on other things. We’re really thrifty people, so I think it made sense to the people who know us best.

Post # 15
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I got engaged without a ring. I didn’t want one, and we decided to put that money towards other things.  We live together, and combined our finances awhile ago, and honestly I’d rather have a sweet honeymoon than a ring.  We decided to get wedding bands that match, which is more meaningful to me.

 Then, for Christmas, my mom dug out an old ring of hers she wanted me to have, so Fiance actually took it to a jewler and had it reset, so I have a ring now.

I still don’t think the ring is important, I think it is the fact that we made a commitment to one another.  It got a little annoying before I had the ring I’m wearing now, when people would grab my hand to see my ring, but I just explained to them that I had not wanted one. I say that if you and your SO are engaged, then everyone else should respect that!

Post # 16
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sent from my Android

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