Post # 1
This is my first time starting a thread of my own as I’m still kinda new around these parts so bear with me. My S.O and I have been together just shy of a year, we live together and very much plan to get married. Our finances are not what we would like right now and SO has said he really wants me to have the e ring we picked out my “dream” ring, so he will be waiting until he can afford it before he asks me. He is pretty stubborn about wanting to do it “right” so I have been waiting (mostly) patiently.
My issue is that he has been calling me his fiance more and more lately and this morning while we were getting ready, I joked with him and said you’re cute do you have a girlfriend and he said No, I’m engaged. I didn’t read too much into it because we were joking around. As I’m getting ready I called my mom because its her birthday and I was trying to coordinate giving her, her gift and card today even though were all getting together next weekend. S.O. comes in the bathroom takes my left hand and puts a band on it and says what size ring do you wear. After I got off the phone and had a small heart attack, I asked him if he was proposing and he said No, why would I propose to you in the bathroom at 7am LOL He says he was trying to size my finger. We had gone to look at rings and I got my finger sized but the scattered brained clerk never told us the size. She was too busy trying to sell us stuff.
Long post, put as short as possible. Am I engaged or not? I know its possibly to be engaged without a ring, or is he just using SO/GF as being interchangable with fiance. He’s been married before so I should hope thats not the case *shrug* I don’t want to make a big deal but it would be benifitial to know if I’m engaged LOL
Post # 3
@MsTique: I think you can KNOW you’re getting married in the future, but I don’t think you are officially engaged until there is a ring, or at the very least a proposal, even if the proposal is without a ring. i think your boyfriend is just silly! If you’re confused about your status though, the easiest thing to do would be ask your boyfriend!
Post # 4
I dont think I would “feel” or think Im engaged if I was you. He is probably preparing himself to propose though. Sounds like he will get a ring soon and pop the question 🙂
Post # 5
I think that “planning to get married” and “engaged” are sometimes the same thing and sometimes different things. It depends on the 2 people involved and whether they are really truly on the same page of where they are vs. where they’re going. For example, I would say no, you are not engaged. It has nothing to do with a ring, by the way. It does have to do with the very specific conversation about being/getting engaged. There can be a proposal question or there can be a discusscion. In my case there was no “proposal” there was just a conversation during which we decided to get married.
In your case it sounds like you need to have a sit-down conversation and make it clear so that you both agree and understand about your relationship status and future plans.
Post # 6
Thanks ladies, I agree. Were So silly but my female friends get all beside themselves about it, and a few have asked if were engaged based on stuff he says on facebook. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my own engagement, I can be a little aloof about stuff…
Post # 7
I think we’re the wrong people to ask if you’re engaged 😉 Sounds to me that you should just ask your boyfriend if he truly considers himself engaged to you.
You certainly don’t need a ring to be engaged, but I think an official proposal is a necessity.