Post # 1
Any words of wisdom as to how to become excited about eventually getting an e-ring?
Long story short, I got engaged a month ago without a ring. Prior to our engagement, Fiance had picked out something online (heart shaped stone w ruby sides) that I saw while using the computer, made some subtle comments that I don’t like heart shapes or red, so we started looking together. During this time Fiance asked my parents about marriage, got them excited and my dad suggested Fiance didn’t need to propose w a ring, so Fiance proposed a few months earlier than he would have otherwise and w no ring.
At first I didn’t mind, assuming that we’d just pick one out in the next few days. I even bought a stone but Fiance didn’t like it. I’ve spent oodles of time trying to give him some guidance to where he feels like he can pick out something (he wants final say on it) and am disappointed to have invested so much in the process and yet have nothing. I also am so tired of people asking to see my ring and having to explain that I didn’t get one, especially now as we’re trying to book venues/vendors for the wedding and I don’t want to do things like e-pics w/o it. It’s gotten to the point where I am past the point of being able to get excited about eventually getting an e-ring, and I’m afraid that it won’t be as meaningful to get one later since the moment has passed, so to speak.
Any advice from Bee’s who didn’t get an e-ring (but do want a ring) as to how you got excited (or didn’t get upset/disappointed/frustrated) about getting one after the fact? Thanks!
Post # 3
Have you gone out shopping with your Fiance or are you just giving him suggestions? If he sees some actual rings on your finger he’ll probably get a clearer idea of what he’d be happy getting you. It might speed up the selection process a bit.
I was without an e-ring for over a year after Darling Husband and I got engaged. He knew that I’m really picky about my jewelry, so he asked me to design what I wanted and he’d have it made.
In the meantime I moved to the UK for a year for grad school, and while it was a bit strange at first, I just got used to telling people I was engaged and that my ring was in the making. Honestly, I was just so happy to be engaged that I never felt like I was “missing” anything not having a ring unless people pointed it out, and even then the feeling was only fleeting.
No matter what, trust me, when you finally get that ring on your finger, it won’t matter that it’s “after the fact”. I couldn’t stop staring at mine for months after it was finished and on my finger. Darling Husband still catches me checking it out, lol.
Post # 4
@linguo42: Agreed, once you get that ring, you’ll be definetley excited.
I was engaged for a month before getting a ring. He told me to start looking at venues and set a date and for me that was “engaged enough” I wasn’t expecting a ring after that, turns out he actualy proposed (looking back he was very careful of not asking the question before) when he gave me the ring.
He is getting you a ring so try to focus on that, maybe tell him you’re a bit sad about not getting it yet. I totally understand him wanting to have a final say on it cause he wants it to be something he picked for you. And yes once you get it you’ll get excited, just be a little pacient and stay strong.
Post # 5
Thanks, that’s great to hear!
We have gone together many times, and part of the problem has been that I prefer yellow gold and nearly everything in stores is white/platinum with pave, which I’m not fond of either. We’ve basically stopped looking at this point – in all honesty I wanted to go to a certain jeweler who works primarily in yellow gold and he didn’t have time for it, and now that he probably does, I feel hurt that he didn’t at the time and now I don’t want to… I feel like a bit overwhelmed, like I’ve seen too many little shiny things I didn’t like and just can’t get excited about continuing the search.
I think I’m also getting a bit worried about only having 7 months left before the wedding, so the e-ring purchase will happen right in the middle of us paying for the wedding, which also stresses me out enormously bc he proposed before he started saving for a ring (he’s been paying down student loans so has no savings in general). It’s also hard for me not to feel like my parents rushed him into it, which may be a bigger part of the problem… It’s hard to tell but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve tried talking to him about it but that did not go well (he felt I was being materialistic and I know that I am, but there’s a lot about weddings that are materialistic but it doesn’t mean the aren’t also very meaningful and symbolic), so that converation brought me here…
Post # 6
Once you get the ring I’m sure everything will feel more real & exciting. I think sometimes just having to explain to everyone else about your naked hand is worse than not having a ring. Have you looked online for specials? Or maybe on idonowidont.com? you may be able to find something lovely for less money than it would cost in a store. I just make sure to have a reliable jeweler in your life that you can count on. I saw this set the other day and even though I’m not a huge yellow gold fan myself thought it was very unique, classic, pretty & elegant.
0.43 carat Round Brilliant Cut diamond ring with E color and VV1 clarity in 17-karat yellow-gold engraved mounting with matching wedding band. Special low price of $2350.
Post # 7
My partner proposed with a necklace. One year earlier she had a custom made “promise ring” made of sterling silver, with interlocking heart in a Celtic design, with both our birthstones on either side. So there was no need for another ring.
Post # 8
Just tell people that the two of you are still searching for the perfect ering.