(Closed) Engaged young, small ring. Should I ask to upgrade?!?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What should I do?
    Be happy with what I have and stop thinking about it. : (177 votes)
    50 %
    Carefully ask what he thinks about upgrading and drop it if he doesn't agree. : (141 votes)
    40 %
    Save my own money to upgrade it if he doesn't agree with spending more money on the ring. : (37 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Hmm. Touchy subject. I’d maybe carefully talk to him about it. Also, be careful with the “my money” “his money” thing – once your married, depending on how you divide finances, that may not really matter. Especially with something as expensive as a diamond, using “your” money now basically takes away from savings you would have had to use jointly for more critical things down the road – like a house, your future children’s education savings, retirement savings, security savings, etc.

    Really think about this – is a stone that costs thousands of dollars really more important to you than setting up a better financial foundation for you and your husband when you already have a beautiful ring?

    Post # 4
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    How old are you now? Are you at a stage where you’re financially more comfortable?

    Post # 6
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I really think that looks great on your finger. Especially with the wedding band.

    Post # 7
    1831 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    This is an EXTREMELY touchy subject for men. I was having the same thoughts as you (we were actually in the same situation) and I caught my ring on something, causing the prong to bend back. I told him I was no longer comfortable wearing the ring (completely true) due to the broken prong and he suggested that I had worn that ring for long enough and deserved something better. He let me pick out a beautiful bridal set that I absolutely love! I’m not saying break your ring, but my e-ring was under $200 so I think he had it in his mind that we would upgrade sooner or later. 

    Post # 8
    6392 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I wouldn’t upgrade your ering before you’re even married, that’s kind of too soon in my opinion. Maybe for a fifth anniversary or something you can get a really nice right hand ring? 

    Post # 9
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think it’s a touchy subject… I don’t know how your fiancé would react but personally, I think a 0.48 is quite a nice size for a ring. (I have a smaller one at 0.35 and I never want to upgrade). I think your ring looks really pretty in the picture. Very dainty and beautiful 🙂

    But if you’re really unhappy with it, I guess it’s worth finding out what your fiancé thinks. He might be happy with the idea if he actually wanted to get you a bigger one but was prevented in doing so due to budget. Has he ever mentioned anything along those lines?

    Post # 10
    609 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree with the PP about waiting for an upgrade.. I personally don’t agree with the “three months salary” idea.. But thats just me.. I’d think an upgrade at 5 years or 10 years is a good solution & logical.

    Post # 11
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We are 24 and although had we waited a few more months could have afforded a bigger ring but i had my heart set on this one. Its not the size really that matters its that he picked it with love knowing i loved it.

    Post # 12
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would casually bring it up, maybe on an anniversary or something, upgrade and find something unique to do with the original stone for sentiment sake

    Post # 13
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I agree with jo.lee, wait until after you are married, maybe for an anniversary. Ii think my Fiance would be offended if i asked for an upgrade before the marriage.

    Post # 15
    10 posts
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Another way to think about it is that the ring you have is a part of your history together (can you tell I’m the sentimental type?). That’s a consideration both for you and him, because he might have attachments to that ring himself, either because of what it symbolized for your relationship, or the cost relative to what he was earning at the time.

    Question: does he know that you had a “ring of your dreams”?

    Post # 16
    6996 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @mzlouis2b: agreed

    i would wait for an anniversary or something – you have a beautiful ring though! and if you are upgrading just the diamond i dont see that as a huge issue ya know? the settings are gorgeous… its just trying to voice it without coming across as ungrateful which is why i personally would wait – i wouldnt want to hurt his feelings.

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