(Closed) Engaged young, small ring. Should I ask to upgrade?!?

posted 11 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What should I do?

    Be happy with what I have and stop thinking about it.

    Carefully ask what he thinks about upgrading and drop it if he doesn't agree.

    Save my own money to upgrade it if he doesn't agree with spending more money on the ring.

  • Post # 62
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d say something. My Fiance is my best friend and if I am thinking something I can tell him, we are open with each other. If you are going to marry this person then surely bringing it up would’t be such a big thing, right? Well unless it involved you stomping your feet in a fit, but you don’t seem the type :p Of course it should be done with respect and kindess, but I don’t think your age means you shouldn’t be able to upgrade. My Fiance would be hurt if he knew I was holding those type of feelings in and if our fiances were in order to afford to upgrade/change then we would ( if I wanted to) 

    Post # 63
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    My vote is to wait until after the wedding and upgrade then.  That’s what I’m doing =)

    Post # 64
    35 posts
    • Wedding: August 2002

    We got married in the middle of college, and I had a .2 ring. It was great for that time in my life because neither me or my husband believe in debt. But now, I’m in my 30s, and we have plenty of money. Besides that, my tastes have totally changed since then. I was in jeans and t-shirts everyday, very basic. Now I dress a lot flashier, heels and blouses, ya know? He’s sentimental, but I’m like, “Babe, it’s the only ring I wear, and I want more bling to look at every day.” I mean, yeah, it symbolizes your commitment to each other, but it is also something you have to wear that you want to be proud of. I told him imagine cars were the symbol of marriage vs. rings. Would he still be driving around in that rust bucket of a car he had in college? Pieces of that car literally fell off every time you closed the door! Haha. Even if I had given it to him as a gift, it makes no sense to never buy a nicer car when you can afford it (if that’s what you really want) That analogy really made sense to him because he did have sentimental attachment to his rust bucket, but he definitely loves his “upgrade” that he’s driving now. I’m very much in the place that if he didn’t want to give it to me as a gift, I would have no problem buying it for myself. Heck, I love flowers, and I’ve been buying my own roses for years. It’s the same thing.

    Post # 65
    1601 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think your set looks great on your finger!  But, YOU have to be happy with what you’re wearing.  I’d wait until after the wedding when you’re wearing them all fulltime and see what you think then.  If you still want something bigger, try a stacking ring for more bling, or something like that.  My first ring was a .53 ct solitaire that I loved but it did feel ‘small’ sometimes when I would see other rings.  I ended up adding a wrap to it, so my original went unchanged but the whole set looked blingier!! 

    Post # 66
    856 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I agree with PPs that you should wait to ask for an upgrade. I think upgrades are best when they are symbolic of a growing relationship so anniversaries are the most ideal times.

    Of course, my Fiance could have given me a ball of tin foil to wear and I would have treasured it forever because he put the time and thought into picking it out. I love my ring but I love my Fiance way more than a stone.

    Post # 67
    201 posts
    Helper bee

    Hoping this doesnt come across as coarse,,or materialistic,,but in my opinion, I understand wanting a bigger ring,, not nessessarily because of a bigger diamond but some rings are just to small on a persons hand. I have been with my man for quite awhile so maybe I feel more easy disgussing this, my ring is a .50Princess with channel diamonds down each side. I have always found this ring to small on my hand,,I say I need a (clunker)..Last week I had it appraised at the jeweller..came home and said, I would like to have a larger ring,,being a man,,in general,,most men dont really care about these things, he said oh!! what for?? I told him my feelings on it and he said  thats fine but he would rather I pick it out to make sure its what I want,,I am looking, and will sell my rings when I find what I am looking for,,I think its always best to talk openly,,tell him how you feel,,good luck and post a picture if you get a new ring..

    Post # 68
    3389 posts
    Sugar bee

    Your ring is bigger than mine….

    Post # 69
    30 posts
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think you should bring it up for the one year anniversary.  ALOT of people upgrade the diamonds.  My cousin had her center stone moves to the right and then had a full carrot put into the middle.  then they had a .5 put on the left.  it’s the “past, present, future” band.  This is great because she still has the original diamond HE GAVE HER but then has the upgraded diamond she loves.

    Honestly though – your ring looks gorgeous in your picture.  I think you really have nothing to worry about when it comes to the size. 

    but if you can’t really help yourself – then I personally think the past, present, future idea is a good way to get around a touchy subject.

    Post # 70
    1187 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just be happy with the ring you have, it’s beautiful btw. Obviously if your Fiance thought the ering was sparkly enough without a band then I think his feelings will be hurt about upgrading your ring & it will probably come across as greedy since it doesn’t seem to be the style or setting you dislike but just the size of the stone. I would wait and maybe get an anniversary upgrade on 5 or 10 years, you’re not even married yet!

    Post # 71
    29 posts
    • Wedding: February 2007

    I think 0.48 is a great size for an e-ring. I personally prefer a diamond under 0.7 carat – any bigger than that will just look flashy to me, especially on my small hand.

    I don’t agree with the “three month salary rule” either. This silly advertising slogan was created by De Beers (a diamond seller) and I don’t think people should follow this rule anymore…

    This is a really sensitive topic for guys and I wouldn’t say anything negative about my e-ring.

    I personally think your e-ring looks gorgeous on you, and I wouldn’t want to change a thing about it!

    Post # 72
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee

    3 months salary isn’t a rule, it’s a guideline that is flawed. My ring is the equivalent of 1.5 months salary and I picked it out myself. I agree with others. If you really do want to upgrade,  do it at an anniversary. 

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