I started dating my current Fiance at 17, so I really only had one “serious” ex before that, who I dated 10 months.
[Warning! Long ramble ahead! Short version in case nobody wants to read: No, I don’t think about my ex anymore haha.]
I hardly ever think about him, which is a miracle, because after we broke up, well…
I had started pulling away from him, and I think he sensed it, so he went into my locker at school, into my bag, and read my all text messages. Then he had the nerve to confront me angrily for texting some other guy at school (who was new to the school and JUST a friend- nothing EVER happened there). So that was the last straw. Couldn’t trust him after that.
But after we broke up, he couldn’t let it go for more than a year. He still sent me flowers on what would have been our one-year anniversary, drove his friends crazy by talking about how much he missed me all the time, and was coooooonstantly for months bringing up the possibility of us getting back together to my friends. He even called my mom a few times to talk about me/our relationship. :/
Because of that, I think I treated him pretty poorly after we broke up. Actually looking back, I was probably pretty mean. 🙁 He was actually a REALLY GOOD guy- a total gentleman, very sweet, etc. So I know I should have been kinder, but I felt like I had to push him away and I was really bitter that he wouldn’t leave me alone. It was just a really bad experience for me, and I felt like even after I’d ended things that I couldn’t breathe, especially with him trying to contact me constantly (at first) and then hearing about all the stuff he was saying later on from my friends. It didn’t help that we went to the same school and had to see each other all the time.
A couple of years ago that situation randomly popped into my head. I didn’t have any feelings for him at all- I’d been dating my current Fiance for two years by then, but I actually called my ex out of the blue to apologize for the way I’d treated him in high school. (My now-FI knew I was gonna call and even said it would be a nice thing to do.) No matter how I was feeling, I know for my ex to have acted like that he must have been feeling a hundred times worse than me (even though I don’t think him holding onto it for that long was healthy), and there was no excuse for being so unkind to him.
Surprisingly, we were actually able to have a nice conversation like normal adults. It was nice.
After that, I pretty much never thought about him again, until last weekend. His little sister and my little brother were graduating together, so I saw him and his family a few rows back from me. His mom ignored me (she never liked me), but his dad was always really sweet to me and said hi. I think he didn’t want things to be awkward so he pretended like he hadn’t seen me LOL.
Kudos if you read all that, wow! Wayyy longer than I expected.
So no, I never play, “What if?”. He’s a great guy and all, but totally not the man I wanted to be with forever.