Post # 1
I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 26 years old too. We recently started talking about marriage and getting engaged. I have been going crazy over the fact that we aren’t engaged yet. We are going on 4 years of dating. He keeps telling me that he has a plan. He knows my ring size and the type of ring that I want. He finally got a new job, which was what he wanted to do before he proposed. I am Catholic, so I decided to give up taking about it with him because I can tell that he was getting annoyed by it. He told me the more that I don’t bring it up, the more that he will actually do it. I guess I’m just a little jealous at the fact that my best friend and my boyfriend’s cousin, who I set up together, have already been engaged and getting married this year after dating for only a year. I’m really trying to not get upset over this, but it’s hard.
Post # 2
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
Ah yes, the old “I can’t propose because you keep asking me about it” line, we hear that one a lot here…
You both have an equal say in your future together, he shouldn’t be holding an engagement over your head as a reward for staying quiet and behaving like a good girl.
I completely understand why you’re frustrated, I think the two of you need to sit down and have an adult conversation about what timeline you’re both looking at, and come to an agreement between the two of you which works for you both. Marriage is a joint endeavour, you can make plans together.
ETA: Just realised this sounded a bit harsh, that wasn’t my intention. It’s just frustrating to see yet another lady given that same tired excuse!
Post # 3
I get that it’s been 4 years, but how are you this upset if you and your bf only recently started talking about getting engaged? These things don’t just happen overnight. Is there a reason you waited so long to discuss marriage?
And he doesn’t own your engagement. He doesn’t get to hold it over your head.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
It is ok to talk about timelines and when you would like things to happen. People think that it means it pressures the other person but being open about what you would like is far better communication.
Good luck! Sometimes men are also alot more nonchalant and have less of a capacity about time than women do.
Post # 5
If you’re in a healthy relationship, the topic of marriage shouldn’t be “annoying”. You have a right to plan for your future. I recommend you have a serious discussion with him and tell him straight up that it’s been four years, he has all the information to get a ring within his budget, and you are ready to get engaged YESTERDAY. Tell him you are not willing to wait another year, or another year on top of that, etc. for engagement and would like to see that happen in the next six months (or whatever timeline will ease your anxiety). I would also point out to him that you have a say in your shared future and need to know what the timeline is because at this point, his stalling is causing you to have major anxiety about this relationship and whether he is really in for this. His response will tell you everything you need to know. Pray on it.