Post # 1
My fiance proposed on Sunday night and I say yes. When my mother learned of this, she became extremely upset about this and told me over email that she doesn’t want me to get married because she didn’t want me to make a same mistake she made when she married my Dad.
I ignored her first email because how she act toward me in the email wasn’t appropriate. She said a lot of hurtful things and I didn’t appreciated it and I want a time to think about what I was going to say so I wouldn’t regret it later.
She emailed me second time and was really harsh about it. The thing about my fiance is that he is a FTM transgender. My parents knew this for a long time and they seemed to like him, but in the email my mother was like, “I know he was (his old birth name). RUN AWAY.”
Clearly, I was upset and continue to ignore her email. She sent me another email threating me about how she need to draw up legal documents for me to sign. I was not comfortable with this and how she behave toward me was hurtful enough. We never have a good relationship growing up.
My Dad on the other hand doesn’t support the idea and expressed same concerns but in much more rational way. He was divorced twice.
We are happy together and very much in love, but I have come to notice that when I mentioned that I’m engaged. I feel a sting in my heart because my parents doesn’t support the engagment and it’s supposed to be a happiest time in my life.
I haven’t spoke to my parents in nearly a week. Just because their marriage doesn’t work out doesn’t mean our marriage wouldn’t work out. I know they have my best interests at heart but it really hurt. This is the happiest and healthiest relationshop I’ve ever been in.
Advices would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
I think that this is the time where you should be focusing on yourself and your relationship. You found your soul mate, and you can’t let your parents poison your upcoming wedding with their negativity.
That being said, I would just be direct and polite. Tell them this is happening with or without their support but you would appreciate their love and acceptance.
Don’t respond to any of your mother’s threats or insults if you can help it. If they can’t accept you and your fiance, they do not deserve to be in your life.
Good luck. I hope your parents come around.
Post # 4
Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. *Hugs* It sucks when parents or loved ones isn’t on board with you expecially when it’s amazing news! I think your parents are relunctant about you entering into a marriage bc theirs didn’t work out. But heck! You and your Fiance are not your parents! You’re engaged to the person you love! Don’t let anyone take that happiness away. I would be firm with your mother and call (or email) her and tell her something along the lines of “Mom, I didn’t appreciate your comments. Though you may be worried bc your my mom, it doesn’t give you the right to tear down my engagement. I understand that things may not have worked out between you and dad, and I’m sorry for that. However, I’m engaged to the man I love who loves me so you should be happy for me. Also, I am more than capable to handle my own life and legal affairs.” You get the idea. I would contact her soon though it may be painful bc it seems her messages are becoming harsher and harsher.
Post # 5
Please don’t let other people make you second guess or feel anything less that great about your incredible news. Parents have their issues. With your mum, I would suggest sending her a polite and calm email explaining that you are happy with your decision, but appreciate her concern for you. Let her know that right now, more than anything, you need her love and positive support.