(Closed) Engagement Announcements

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


Tell the people you care about first and then change it.

Post # 4
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@missrandirobot: i did what the PP said, i waited to change my status until i spoke to everyone i cared about first.  but you don’t ever have to change it. you can change it when you get married!

as for sending announcements in the mail, i see nothing wrong with it. i didn’t even think to do that because i have never known anyone that has.  but i wouldnt think anyone is weird for doing so.  another option is to announce it through save the dates

Post # 5
671 posts
Busy bee

I have changed my status so much (single to married, married to engaged, engaged to its complicated) for the purpose of numbing people to my relationship status! LOL When engaged, I feel like I will tell the close ones and the news will spread! 

Post # 9
2149 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If I was close to a person, I’d much rather get a phone call than an announcement in the mail, personally.

But another suggestion. Consider deactivating your FB account until all the important people in your life know about the engagement. I found out about a friend’s engagement because her sister poster a congratulatory message on her wall, and i was pretty hurt to have found out that way. At the very least maybe, take your wall down (this can be done temporarily and put back up once all your family and friends know).  The only thing worse than announcing your engagement via facebook is to have someone else do that for you.

Post # 10
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I called everyone I was close to tell them. Then I texted all my other close friends and told them I would try to call them within the next few weeks. (I can’t be on the phone for days re-telling the same story). Then my fiance changed the status for everyone else to know. It’s all up to you. Though e-mail (to me) seems like it would be the same as Facebook.

Post # 11
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I called my family and best friend on day 1, and called a bunch of other close friends and more distant family on day 2.  Then when I received a phone call from an acquaintance congratulating me on day 3, I figured the cat was out of the bag, so I changed my facebook status.

The key is, when you call people, tell them “Please do NOT post anything about this on facebook, because we want to tell people ourselves.”  No one defied that since we specifically pointed it out.  But you will have to point it out clearly, because it’s second nature these days to post about it.  Again, you can always deactivate your FB for a couple days, but that wouldn’t prevent your sister from saying “Can’t wait to be MOH” or something like that.

Post # 12
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Another thing about phone call ahead of engagement announcements – I liked getting to hear people’s reactions right away.  And the people I saw in person, when I saw the recognition in their eyes when they noticed my ring.  It’s a lot more fun than mail.  And when it happens, you’ll be squirming waiting for people to get their mailed announcements.  At least that’s what it was like for me.

Post # 13
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I spent a week or two telling the most important people in person, and calling the people I couldn’t reasonably get in touch with.  Everyone else (aquaintances, etc.) found out via facebook after I had told my main family/friends.

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