(Closed) Engagement Announcement at Wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

NO THANK YOU! THIS IS RUDE!!! This is not OK. Maybe send them some nice websites for engagement annoucement stationery as a hint 😉

Post # 18
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes this is ridiculous! That is your day. I would spoil the surprise and tell everyone. I know, I’m kind of mean like that 

Post # 19
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes this is ridiculous! That is your day. I would spoil the surprise and tell everyone. I know, I’m kind of mean like that 

Post # 20
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Unbelievable! That is SO rude.

Post # 21
Member
26 posts
Newbee

Oh I love the newspaper announcement!  And the prego threat.  Use them both!  Tell her that you have an announcement set to run in the paper if she doesn’t back down from making her announcement at YOUR wedding.  Then follow with if she decides at the last minute to make the announcement that your announcements at her wedding will be that your pregnant.

Post # 22
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I keep posting back here because something about the idea of this just gets under my skin! Anyways, I was thinking – has your cousin been to many weddings? Because if not, she may not realize how awkwardly this may play out.

 I’m assuming she’s not in the bridal party, right? So she’ll be sitting away from the head table. So what…the toasts are done, you start to move into the next event…and then what? She stands up at her table and declares "Everyone! Stop what you’re doing! (whistles) Hey, over here! I’m engaged!" I just don’t see how that will work.

If it is that big of a deal to her and you want to be tactful, I would say kindly but firmly that you don’t think it will work as part of your wedding, but you’d be happy to honor her at the rehearsal dinner (or another pre-wedding event if you’re having one.) Then, at said event, you can stop the action and say "So and so has an announcement!" so she’s kind of got to say something. If you do it before the wedding it’s already announced so hopefully you won’t have to worry about her doing it again! 

Post # 23
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with not letting any of these people (not just your cousin) get ahold of the mic.  Maybe they’ll figure out, they aren’t the ones paying for this party.  You aren’t spending thousands of dollars to give your cousin a free ride to annoucne her engagement.  Let her get in the trenches like the rest of us and actually throw her own engagement party, or I don’t know, call people up or visit them if she really is excited to tell them.

I think not only should you annoucne tht you’re pregnant at her wedding, but you should wear a white dress too.  😉

Other than that, my only suggestion is to show her this thread.

Sorry.  Good luck.

Post # 24
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh my Gosh!  I am so sorry to hear this!  You do not need the added stress of making sure she keeps her mouth shut.  I would go so far as to threaten to uninvite her!  Harsh, I know, but what is she thinking???

Be thankful you were warned instead of caught off-gaurd on your wedding day!  I agree you should let her see this thread.  And tell her that someday she will understand.  As far as family agreeing with her that you are being ridiculous…I think families sometimes get "wrapped up" in the "family event" idea, as oppose to viewing it as "your day."  Does that make sense?  They sometimes lose sight of the meaning and see the day as a sort of family reuinion, which is annoying as hell!

Just be overly blunt and ask her why she wants to ruin your one and only wedding day.  Tell her how deeply hurt you are.  Explain that it is YOUR day, no exceptions!  Tell her you have every right to make demands, even if others consider them "ridiculous."

Best of Luck!

Post # 25
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Just leak the information ahead of time- tell your whole family (oh!  I didn’t know it was a surprise!!!).  Or, have your Maid/Matron of Honor or best man say something about it ahead of time, before the toasts.

Post # 26
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

At her wedding… after her toasts announce that you are pregnant!!!

 

That’s really rude that she would try to infringe on your special day. She does not have the right to have "the floor" at any point for public announcements. What a brat!

Post # 27
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Send me her email address and I can show her this post.  Maybe she will get the hint!

Post # 28
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I second what a lot of people said about explaining to her that this is your day and you would really appreciate it if she didn’t announce her engagment at your wedding, and if she doesn’t seem responsive give the DJ her picture and tell him not to give her the mic!

 

 

(We’re day twins 🙂 I can’t believe it’s coming up so soon, I hope both of our weddings are beautiful!)

Post # 29
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think it’s unacceptable.  With that being said, I’d beat her to the punch and say congrats to cousin’s x, for her upcoming engagement.  and thank you mom and dad for such a wonderful wedding, fiancee for loving me always, etc.  am i making sense?  include a brief blurb so she wouldn’t feel obligated to say anything else.

Post # 30
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

your cousin is being rude and selfish and if it was me, i would be telling everyone in the next 19 days about the engagement so its ho-hum news by the time she decides to act like a drama queen at your wedding. its YOUR wedding!

maybe a friend of a friend with a hotmail address can email her this link so she can see how rude it is for herself and if that doesnt set her straight then at her wedding knock over the cake and blame it on your pregnant with quads hormones announcement or something just as rude

goodluck!

 

Post # 31
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

That would definitely not make me happy either-you have reason to feel the way you do!

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