(Closed) Engagement Anxiety- am I normal?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bimmy:  I think it’s totally normal!!

Post # 4
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@bimmy:  From what I’ve seen, I think what you are going through is pretty normal. Just enjoy the moment, don’t think too much about the future and jump into wedding preps. Congratulations on your engagement! Keep your chin up and show off that rock!

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think thye’re normal and I have those feelings sometimes too.  As long as there are no overtly visible red flags you are concerned about I think it’s probably normal jitters. I’d be more concerned about my nerves for instance if my Fiance Had a gambling addiction or was in serious debt or was an alcoholic.

Post # 7
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@bimmy:  Oh dear! I’m sorry to hear that. Sending you hugs and good vibes. Hope everything will work out just fine for the wedding, and that you get another job asap.

Post # 8
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Getting married is a BIG decision.  And it is a HUGE milestone in everybodies life.  Of course it is normal that you have these feelings.  Some people take it better than others.  All you have to do is try to remember to pause and take a deep breath.  You’ll be fine. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Two questions if you don’t mind answering:

How old are you?  How come your engagement is so short?

I ask about age because if you are young, then that’s completely understandable.  You may need time to sew your wild oats or something.  And if you are feeling this way, maybe you need more time.  Your engagement is pretty short, so you really don’t have room to wonder if this is the right thing for you.

Post # 11
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@bimmy:  I think it’s normal. I get these thoughts too. I’m an anxious person and I worry about EVERYTHING. I am trying to figure out better ways to cope (i.e. vs. driving myself crazy).

You’re about to make a huge commitment and no one has a crystal ball… of course it’s scary.

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was ALL about getting engaged, til he popped the question. I said yes, but then asked for a few weeks before we announced it. I needed to absorb the idea. I think the people who do NOT worry are the ones who end up in trouble (like the ones who are engaged almost immediately, and end up divorced just as quickly). It just reflects that you take marriage seriously, and change is always a bit intimidating. Give yourself a few days, Im betting everything will seem manageable soon!

Post # 14
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you’re totally fine then! 😉  There’s such a big difference between the thought of being engaged or married and actually going through with it!  As my engagement got closer (and then actually happened) I had less excitement and more nerves.  Same for the wedding. As long as you can’t picture life without him you will be a-okay!

Post # 15
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Of course we can’t know the whole story, but I’d say you’re completely normal! 

Have you read the Conscious Bride?  A lot of women here and elsewhere have found it helpful in terms of talking about the deeper issues we face as the wedding approaches and how they manifest.

I also love Apracticalwedding.com, and have found a lot of reassuring articles there.  One that specifically addresses anxiety, the clinical kind is here:

http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/weddings-marriage-love-anxiety/

Good luck with everything!

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