(Closed) Engagement Anxiety- am I normal?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@bimmy:  yeah…its just “head noise”. Try to not overthink it too much. Focus on the fun stuff, but keep the emotional stuff in your awareness. It will play out, in time. It also makes sense that you would have a little hesitation given your own family history of divorce. Some counseling could be helpful. 

Post # 19
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

i have felt this way. i want to marry my Fiance no doubt but i guess it’s just the whole wedding day being on display thing that gets to me. my wedding is in 4 days so i’m just trying to relax. have a lot of family and close friends support that are helping me through this so i know it will be ok. next week at this time i’ll look back and smile!

Post # 21
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bimmy i will be sure to get back with you probably Monday ( i took the day off work to relax and regroup)! 🙂

Post # 22
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s totally normal.  I’ve been engaged 6 months and our wedding is still 22 months away.  I wonder sometimes too… the 4 years that we were together before getting engaged I never had even the tiniest sliver of doubt… he’s the man of my dreams, gorgeous, sweet, kind, laid back, smart and hard working and he puts me first.  I was soooooo excited to get engaged and couldn’t wait for him to pop the question. 

I think it’s just normal when the reality hits that you’ve made this commitment that you start to think about 30 years from now… who will we be?  what if we fall out of love?  What if the things we’ve seen happen to our parents happen to us? His parents split recently after 33 years, and mine are together but things have been rocky at times over the last few years with them. Even now after 4.5 years, I find things aren’t always as exciting as they were a few years ago.  but that’s the natural progression of a relationship.  We are still deeply in love, deeply committed and the idea of anyone else feels so wrong.

I just know we’ve talked about it and made the commitment that neither will walk away when things get rough, and we know that in all likelihood we will have rough patches.  But we both believe strongly in marriage being a life long commitment. Talk to your fiance about having nerves.  A wedding and marriage are HUGE life changes, it’s ok to have anxiety around that.  We have anxiety around most big life changes!

Post # 25
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@bimmy:  No problem!  I was nervous at first bc my FI’s parents split multiple times over their marriage.  Apparently when he was like 7 years old his parents were having trouble so his mom moved away with him and his brother for a whole year and then moved back.  I think she was also working on her masters and that was part of the reason for the move, but still.  I was worried that he would think whenever we had trouble that the solution would be to seperate or something.  I told him that is never going to happen.  You don’t run away from problems… we’d go to counselling and seek every avenue of support to help.  The only thing that would make me leave him would be cheating which I know he never will.

I won’t even let him sleep on the couch if we have an argument.  I don’t believe in that.  We can be mad at each other but we don’t run away from each other.  He feels the same. 😀

My hesitation to commit to a dress had me worried that maybe it was because I wasn’t ready to commit to him… but that’s so not it bc before the ring I was dying to be engaged and was willing to forgo a wedding and elope just so we could be married finally.  Weddings are just a lot of pressure and build up.  Don’t worry!  You love your man, you’re golden!

Post # 27
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@bimmy:  Well if you’ve always known he was the right one then I wouldn’t bother with my speech about how you might need to go out and date some more.  I knew I had to get it all out of my system before I settled down.  26 is just a tad young to me, but if you’ve been together for 6 years then you are certainly not rushing anything. 

Just relax, breathe, and think of all the fun you are going to have dress shopping and venue shopping.  Think of how nice it’s going to be to finally be married to the person you’ve spent so much time with. 

Hope you start to feel better!  Smile

Post # 28
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I know this post is old..but I have had the same issues. Super nervous as my wedding gets closer. I’m glad I’m not the only one!!!! I’m getting married in less than 4 mon the and have been with my fiancé for 6 years. I love him with all my heart and yet question is he the one? Do I love him? I have been told this is totally normal. Just annoying! 

Post # 29
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I are very happy (newlyweds!). I worry about him divorcing me in 20 years from now lol. I think it is normal, especially for people who suffer from anxiety.

The topic ‘Engagement Anxiety- am I normal?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors