(Closed) Engagement Blues

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

its a huge life change and those types of feelings are normal (although not talked about often)

Wedding planning can and will be stressful, when in doubt think of the amazing man you are going to marry and the life you two will have together. keep your eye on the prize and the details will fall into place.


Post # 4
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My FI just proposed to me an hour ago and I feel down as well. I too am afriad of things not working out. But we must not walk by fear but by faith. We both know our men are wonderful and treat us well. It is time to depend on that and move forward into building a good marriage. You are not alone my dear!

Post # 5
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, I went through this.  It got worse when we had to change our date twice.  Our date was for May 13th, 2011 then Future Mother-In-Law pitched a fit about the cost of hotels that weekend so we pushed it back a week to May 20th, 2011.  Then I found out Fiance has another year of school, so we tacked on 17 more months from the original date; now it’s October 13th, 2012.    Go ahead and vent to us, we definitely can relate.  I also had the “what if it doesn’t work out?” and “I don’t know if I’m 100% sure?” but it all came back to me why I love him and it’s worked out.  In fact, my Fiance and I talked lengthy about it as well.

Definitely have that floating feeling and then a crash back into Earth, for some it’s the cost of the wedding, others it’s the possible doubts, and those like me it’s choosing the date!

Post # 6
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ohmigosh, totally normal!  We got engaged on a Friday night and I had a major crying fit that Sunday.  My Fiance was totally freaked out – he thought I had everything I ever wanted, so why was I crying?  But it’s a lot to handle all at once, there is a lot of expectation placed on you almost as soon as you get engaged.  Not to mention that it’s a huge life change.  As soon as I went to work and started talking to people about the engagement, I went straight back to Cloud Nine and stayed there about a week. 🙂

Your emotions are going to go up and down a lot during your engagement – but remember that it’s all totally normal!

Post # 7
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That sounds pretty normal to me.  I think you should just take the time to think deeply about these things.  Knowing your relationship is solid is obviously something you want to be sure of before making such a big commitment.  Regarding the wedding itself, I think some of us assume every bride is supposed to be ecstatic from start to finish.  To me, that’s unrealistic.  This can be a stressful process!  Being emotional is so normal! 

Post # 8
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

As excited as I am, I cannot think of any experience I’ve ever had that is remotely as terrifying as getting married – so much new stuff to handle, from the wedding itself to whose family you’ll celebrate holidays with each year to where you’ll live!  I’d think someone was nuts if they didn’t panic about it from time to time.

Post # 9
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh my gosh, I am so glad there are other people out there who are feeling this way! As PP said, it does feel terrifying, even though it feels 100% right, which doesn’t make any sense when you’re going through it. It’s a huge life change, and I’ve got unemployment and a house I can’t sell, a crazy unsupportive family and moving in with my Fiance after yeeeaaarrrs on my own to add on to it. I’ve felt pretty blue myself and have had regular freakouts. I would love to get to the point where this is the “happiest time in my life.” 🙂 But I don’t think that the expectation of being constantly in happy engaged bliss until the wedding day is realistic.

Thanks everyone for chiming in on this…it’s nice to know this is normal.


Post # 10
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you’re feeling totally normal right now, I had a panic attack at work the next day. It’s a lot to take in, more than you ever dreamed. I think you’ll be fine, just take one day and one project at a time and everything will be great!

Post # 11
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am SO glad someone else said something! I was starting to feel like I was the only one!

What makes it harder for me is that FI’s Best Man and his fiance (whose wedding is 3 weeks before ours) have been doing the long distance thing for a year now, and they got engaged at the 1 year point, so they are so cute and disgustingly in love, and Fiance and I have been together for 4 years, lived together for 2 years, and have gotten past the “OMIGOSH I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH” phase. I feel so jealous of how excited they are to plan their wedding and get married. 

I know in my heart that I love Fiance, and that he’s a great man and that he will be a great husband and (eventually) a great father. Still, I can’t help feeling TERRIFIED of this huge change in my life. I too have wondered if it’s right, if he’s REALLY the one, if we’ll be able to make it through all the stress and financial issues and parenting and getting old and so on. 

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one, and that’s it’s ok to feel this way. 

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