(Closed) Engagement called off – now what?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Oh, dear… I don’t know if i have anything useful to say but I read your thing and my heart goes out to you. You are so strong and I really hope everything turns out right for you~!

Post # 5
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m happy to hear that you’re at least trying to figure out where you are with him and where he is with you. That’s a great big step in the right direction I think.

*hugs*

 

Post # 6
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

At least it sounds like you both know a little better where you stand. My heart goes out to you and I really hope things work out. Keep us updated.

Post # 7
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t know if I could trust someone who just left my entire life in 3 hours?  I obviously don’t know your relationship or you, but he doesn’t sound like he’s good at expressing himself.  Would he consider counseling if you were going to get back together?

Post # 8
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re in a difficult situation and my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to wait for something like that but, regardless of the outcome, I think 6 months from now you’ll both be glad you took the time to self-reflect and figure out what you BOTH want. When you decide, you’ll both be confident in your decision and able to move forward in a way you would not have been able to otherwise. It sounds like you know what you want and I recommend you take this time to reflect on your relationship, what you can do differently in the future (with or without him), and (assuming he decides this relationship is what he wants) what he can do differently to ensure the success of your relationship. It sounds like you’re already on the right track. 

Post # 9
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.  You recognize the issues that need work and you laid them out on the table for open discussion with him.  That’s a huge step.  Good for you! 

*hugs*

Post # 10
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

My dh broke off our original engagement for very similar reasons.  We worked through them and are happily married.  Be patient and try not to push him.  Focus on having quality interactions with him and him feeling positively about the time he spends with you.  Pray A LOT.  That is what worked in our lives.  God bless.

Post # 11
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

It sounds like things are moving in the right direction!  Great job on being able to get such a good perspective on what went wrong and being able to get it all down in a letter like that.  I’m sure it meant a lot to him.  I wish you the best of luck!!

Post # 13
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i hate what he did to you but it sounds like he really needs to find himself.. he seems bit lost going along in the stream of life without going for what he wants..

Post # 14
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it is understandable to take the time apart and I am glad you got to say everything you felt. I think now you have to let him come to you completly. Get a social life for a couple weeks and maybe don’t answer his texts right away or say your busy. I Wouldn’t go to the hockey game. at least if you distance yourself and he comes back you will be sure he did it on his own and not wonder if you talked him into it. Your doing great so far, it will get a little easier to deal with everyday. Read good books or watch sex and the city, order pizza 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@bookworm88:  This. If someone did that to me, boom. I’d be gone faster than you could say ‘I’m sorry’. But that’s just me. 

If you’re sure this is the right thing, then I wish you the best of luck.  

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