(Closed) Engagement Cards

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Stressed_Bride15:  yes. i didn’t have an engagement party but still got lots of cards and even some gifts. 

Post # 4
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

yes a card is always a nice gesture! 

Post # 5
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

A card is cheap and easy!  Send it over and you’ll be the thoughtful friend!

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

In general, wherever Hallmark-influenced culture thinks of sending a “card”, traditional etiquette would expect a “note” — cards in the Hallmark sense are never required by traditional formal etiquette but notes are. That’s good news to anyone who wants to save the cost of a card, but bad news to anyone who wanted to save the time and bother of writing a couple of heart-felt personal sentences in favour of sending a pre-printed commercial message.

Notes can be sent on plain white paper, on pretty generic note-paper, on your own monogrammed personal stationery, or on the inside of a Hallmark card — but it has to contain at least a salutation, one sentence (preferably three), and a closure signed with your own first name. If you are an unmitigated child of the digital-era, then the equivalent of a note is an email or private facebook message, but the requirement for salutation, sentences, and a closure stands even in a social email.

A friend or family member should send a note of congratulations immediately upon finding out that their friend is to be married. If they find out by receiving an invitation, then they should send such a note when they receive the invitation, whether they plan to accept the invitation or not, and they may, if they choose send a gift along with it,  whether they plan to accept the invitation or not. Formal proper etiquette requires that people wait until they receive an invitation before sending gifts; as only the invitation will reassure them that the couple’s relationship is sufficiently stable, and that the couple considers them to be close enough an acquaintance, that the gift will not seem like an importunate self-ingratiation.

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