(Closed) Engagement changed everything…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you have doubts?

    There was no question!

    A little nervous the day of...

    A little nervous for a while...

    Wondering if this was a mistake...

  • Post # 17
    Member
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @tchrlady:  

     

    Look at it this way…it’s the thought that count and what I meant was that there are so many ladies waiting to be engaged and they don’t care how it’s done because they just want it to happen.  While it may not have been the way you envisioned it, think about how nervous he may have been or even the pressure he felt.  Don’t worry too much about the proposal worry about the future and if you can see him in it. 

    Take a deep breath, take some time to reflect on everything such as why you fell in love with him and why you wanted to spend a lifetime with him and after if you still feel confused and having a hard time you may want to look at other options, maybe counselling, etc.

     

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee

    How is your Fiance acting now that you guys are engaged? Does he seem excited about your future together and wanting to get married?

    I was with my Fiance for just over 7 years when he proposed, and like you I had a lot of doubts. The only difference was my doubt happened a month BEFORE he proposed and it really led to a lot of deep conversations. I felt that he wasn’t excited about spending the rest of his life with me, that he would never see past the present time, and that if he proposed it would just be to make me happy. If that was the case, I was honest with him and told him that was not worth it to me. It was not worth it to me to marry someone and plan a future with someone who didn’t feel the same way I did. We continued to talk and work through these emotions. Some days were MUCH harder than others, but now, we are VERY happily engaged, and his outward excitement just makes me feel all that much better. I’m confident that we are engaged for the right reasons and that we are both looking forward to this new adventure.

    But, had we not had those talks, and had he never started sharing how excited he was and opening up to talk about the future (as in farther than a few weeks), I would be still doubting if we made the right choice.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @BeachBride2014:  This too! When I made the decision in my head that I wanted to marry Fiance and we first started talking about marriage, there were days when I wanted to throw up too. Even without being engaged, I began to treat our relationship as if it WAS forever, and REALLY let that settle in, to prepare for the change that would inevitably happen. I was fortunate to go through all those emotions before he proposed.

    But they are real. The doubt, and the cold feet, and the OMG feeling is very real. You are not alone, you are not a bad person, and you may not be making a huge mistake. Talk with your Fiance, maybe he’s scared too.

    You know the love is there, you just need his help to bring it back out. Sometimes we have to be each other’s cheerleaders. It’s part of spending the rest of your life with someone – through good and bad. We all get complacent and lose sight of things sometimes. It’s okay. Just remind yourself how happy you were, and spend some time with your Fiance that brings those fuzzies back. Have a night where you act like it’s a first date. Ask each other questions that even though you know the answer, you wouldn’t if it was a first date. You know – you might even learn something you didn’t know. 😉

    The topic ‘Engagement changed everything…’ is closed to new replies.

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