Post # 91
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
I didn’t make engagement chicken. But admittedly food is very important to my husband. He grew up basically vegetarian and did not like that. So he was thrilled that while I too am obsessed with vegetables like his mother, I always add healthy amounts of meat proteins to my cooking. So it was just one more thing he loved about me and helped tip the scales that were already in my favour even more.
Post # 92
See the first thing I did was make Fiance completely dependent on me for food by cooking amazing dishes. I’m talking coq au vin, lasagna with homemade Ragu and bechamel, roast beef. Then, I told him I wanted to get married and he had forgotten how to feed himself so he bought a ring. Then, I made sure we went through the most stressful time of our lives and I didn’t cook for 3 months. I swear he almost died. But it just affirmed that he HAS to marry me. The key is to treat your target I MEAN SIGNIFICANT OTHER like a lobster you are trying to boil. Turn up the heat slowly and one day he will be so dependent on you he would die without your cooking. (Sarcasm meter should be going off!)
but seriously, I do all the cooking and frequently make fancy meals for Fiance. I’m sure it didn’t influence him. I mean, I made him Ina Garten’s Beatty ‘s chocolate cake which probably did because it’s that good. But other than that… yeah he just wants to be able to call me his wife so he proposed.
Post # 93
bluecandy : I almost cried, your comment is absolutely brilliant and hilarious 😂
Post # 94
bluecandy : ha ha my FH can’t really cook, he thinks I am an amazing cook by comparison! I am not even THAT good, but I know he won’t be leaving me any time soon! ha ha.
Post # 95
forlorn : lol well it could serve as inspiration… what about engagement lobster??? Isn’t it supposed to be an aphrodisiac? So you win either way! 😝
MsBeer : lol my poor Fiance is the same. I do swear by the chocolate cake… Fiance will say when I presented him with it for his birthday, he knew he wanted to marry me because he had never had anyone put that much effort into a cake for him. I made it for one of my friend’s birthdays and my entire lab separately came up to me and asked how I had made it… because it isn’t dry or super sweet like most chocolate cakes.
Post # 96
bluecandy : hmmmmmm now I want chocolate cake. I might do some baking for my Fiance this weekend, he is having a rough time and would love some cake! Great inspiration.
Post # 97
forlorn : I remember reading about engagement chicken years ago (I’m 31 for reference) and one of my friends did make it for her boyfriend. He never proposed.
As all the other Bees have said, there’s nothing magical about a bland chicken recipe that is going to make a guy that has no intent on ever proposing, about to propose.
In my friend’s case, she was dating a guy who had wanted to marry a woman who was a really good cook. They had talked about it when they first started dating. His mom was a phenomenal cook, so for him the bar was set high. He liked to cook himself, so it was something that was important to him. My friend even took cooking classes hoping to become better, but she wasn’t a Michelin chef by any means. What bothered me and her other friends was that she was changing who she was in order to fit his ideal. She didn’t have much interest in cooking before she started dating him. That’s not to say you can’t learn a new hobby or take on an interest that your SO has, but to do that as a condition of engagement is wrong.
I read the recipe before she made it and told her it was going to be bland, especially to someone that is used to more flavorful cooking. But she was desperate and while acknowledged I was correct, decided to follow the recipe to the letter. Her boyfriend ate it and was polite, but admitted it wasn’t great. I don’t remember if it was that night or a few days later, but she had a heart to heart talk with him. She was finally honest and said she didn’t really enjoy cooking, that she would cook but there was no way she could live up to the standards of his mom. He told her he really appreciated her effort. But several months later they did break up, with him initiating it. So while he never admitted that he really wanted someone that was a good cook, my friend thinks it actually was a big part of it. So I guess you can say the engagement chicken was the beginning of the end of their relationship! (My friend is now married to a great guy that is a much better match and couldn’t care less that she doesn’t like to cook).
OP, your comments about “women nowadays” really rub me the wrong way. There was a saying back in the day that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and it seems like you’re still trying to live in that period when the little wife stayed home and tended house all day. You do realize that most women have jobs outside the home “nowadays”, right? I’m glad that the mindset has switched and men are expected to help more around the house, and that includes cooking. There’s no way one person can do everything. I saw my own parents’ marriage struggle for years because the expectations were that not only was my mom to hold a job, but also take care of all the cooking and housework.
Hopefully everything works out for you.
Post # 98
bluecandy : this or that delicious cake. 😁 Guess I could only win: either oh an absolutely delicious meal oooor both .😉
But since I’ve made a cake for his birthday two years ago in the shape of a ship, I guess he can’t complain too much about my effort in him …
Post # 99
redmango : thanks for sharing this story. My boyfriend’s mom is a cook too, as he is. They both cook absolutely delicious and though I know how to cook a lot of delicious meals, its mostly on him to cook every day. Since we both work full-time he is doing the cooking and I’ll do the cleaning during the week, on weekends we clean together.
Your friends story is pretty sad, but lucky for her they broke up, otherwise she wouldn’t have met the perfect partner for her. My but always tells me what a good cook i am, so I actually feel pretty flattered.
As I have stated earlier I will wait until June to see what happens but if nothing happens I clearly will leave.
I’m sorry if I’ve made you or any of the others angry with my comments but I was angry too, that’s why my comments might have been a little .. harsh.
And of course I agree that there’s nothing special about the chicken. But since we already talked and I want him to think about everything now, I do what I can do without talking ..