(Closed) Engagement Encounter

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My best recommendation is to make sure you’re honest with each other. Always be communicating. If you’re really looking for some guidance on marriage itself, some officiants (I’m not sure if it’s a religious thing or not) will do pre-marriage counselling. And that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with your relationship, it just means that you are laying down the groundwork for a healthy marriage.

Post # 3
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We’re reading the 5 love languages for our pre-marital counseling.  It’s nothing ground breaking, but has some really good points about loving your spouse in the “right” way for them.

Post # 4
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee

Cousenling does not have to be expensive. DH and I did online counseling, and it cost a little over $100. There are packages so that you can determine the rigor of the program and the time it takes to complete it, and you choose the price point and materials that are right for you.

Post # 5
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

My fav books are: Hold Me Tight & 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work. Both are available as audio books & hard copies. Both are based on years research. I’m a nerd. 

Post # 6
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee

Gary Chapman (the guy who wrote the love languages book, which I also recommend!) has a book called “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.” Like PP said, nothing groundbreaking, and I don’t agree with all his points (for example, he suggests that everyone turns into their parents – which I couldn’t disagree with more) but there’s still lots of good common sense advice in there. It’s a quick read. 

Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I met with an older married couple that we really look up to. We would read a chapter of a book (Preparing for Marriage) each week and then meet with the couple to go through the questions in the book. So the price was only the cost of the books! Just throwing that out as an option. 

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

I would suggest Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs. Best marriage book ever in my opinion. Best of luck to you!

Post # 10
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
mcjenny25 :  Just an idea- but you might want to consider a Catholic Engagement Encounter retreat. My husband and I did it even though he’s agnostic and I’m atheist, but we’d heard good things about it. It’s very structured and intensive (Friday through Sunday) but we found it incredibly worthwhile. They covered goals, attitudes about money, sex, children, and family. There were a couple of religious topics, but we just ignored those 🙂 

It only cost about $300, mostly because we stayed in a hotel. I should also say that it was a sacrifice for my husband cuz it was in the middle of March Madness, but even he appreciated it.

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

View original reply
mcjenny25 :  I didn’t know there was a workbook?  The quiz is in the back of the book to figure out what each of your love languages are.  I think it’s sufficient on its own.

Post # 12
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We also did the 5 Love Languages. It was really helpful. Overall we have great communication already, and got married a bit older, so counseling wasn’t really for us. We basically read a chapter a week and had a discussion on Saturday morning with our coffee. It was surprisingly fun 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

When we were engaged we just had a good conversation about our expectations in marraige, to know we were on the same page, we wanted kids, etc. 

We also did the catholic marriage prep and it was an incredible weekend together that I will never forget. It made us much stronger as a couple.

Post # 14
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We’re doing SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts). It’s a program through our officiant, but they also have regular books that lead discussions. I think it’s been super helpful. There’s a religious undertone, but also very practical and like pinpoints your background and personalities to determine where you might run into issues down the road so you can start working on them now, i.e. I’m the practical one and my fiancee is the dreamer.

Post # 15
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Adding that you can put in your zip code on the SYMBIS website and they can find a facillitator for you. It cost us $35 as a donation to the church, but an actual facillitator might be a little more expensive if they’re not your pastor/officiant 🙂

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