Post # 1
first thread on the waiting board 🙂 hi!
i know that a lot of people suffer from waiting for the proposal, and trust me i get impatient sometimes too. but knowing my Boyfriend or Best Friend is just as excited and him having given me a pretty definite timeline of when (in a few months) keeps me pretty sane. and looking at beautiful rings in the meantime of course 🙂
my only (small) complaint, is that i’m the first of all my close friends to be on the engaged-to-be wagon. they are very happy & excited for me, but i’m considered quite young in my circle (24) to be doing this with my Boyfriend or Best Friend (designing ring, talking concretely about marriage etc.) so i don’t feel like i can really discuss to length with my friends or talk endlessly about marriage and proposals! and although i’m sure it’s hard to have people around you getting engaged left & right, i do wish i wasn’t so alone being at this stage in my relationship. i know that’s what these boards are for! but still.
anyone in the same boat?
Post # 3
No exactly…I’ll be the last of my friends to get engaged/married though! Kind of feel like everyone is been there, done that, busy with babies and all. When I bring up how I’m going crazy waiting or any planning I get brushed off or they look at my like I”m a nuts, and i know they all were just like this before they got engaged/married!
Post # 4
I’m the first in my close group of friends to be getting married and it is a weird dynamic. Especially since I always thought that several of them would get married long before me, but that’s not how it worked out. I do have lots of friends who are married, but just not from my core group of besties. Luckily they are all being really supportive. Good luck with your wait and paving the path forward for your friends. I’m sure they are all very happy for you!
Post # 5
My Darling Husband and I hang out with friends much older than us. They’re all married and some have kids and the baby fever is catching. I don’t think we woke up one day and thought ‘our friends are so immature, let’s make new ones!’ but it some how slowly happened.
We were 24 when we bought our house together and engaged before we were 26. Most of our friends now are in their early to late 30’s. We still hang out with our old friends who are our age, but it is a little weird. They all still live at home and go clubbing weekly while we sit around talking about property tax rates and where the best schools are.
Everyone moves through the stages of life at different paces.
Post # 6
What’s strange is that among my best friends, each has been in her relationship for much longer than I have (up to 9 years!) and none are engaged yet! But my boyfriend and I, only five months together, are soon to be (we’ve already got the rings, now he insists on “sweeping me off my feet” with a proposal that I feel would be no more than a formality). I know one of my friends would be envious because according to her, the only reason her man is waiting is so he can get a good enough job to afford the ring she deserves.
My man and I live paycheck to paycheck, but we felt so passionately about pressing forward with marriage plans that we didn’t want to wait. And honestly, I did not give him any pressure; between the two of us, I’m the one with cold feet! And though it hasn’t been long, we are beyond certain (please, no comments about how it’s too soon).
Post # 7
thank you everyone for your insight & input!
it’s somewhat comforting to hear that of course, not everyone moves at the same pace and can’t always be in sync with the people around us. i think there are advantages/disadvantages to every situation for sure.
@hassle_J – you’re the opposite but it’s still similar in terms of dynamic amongst friends i guess. i think you should be excited that you’ve got all this great stuff yet to do, and they’ve already been through it and are done with it 🙂
@MeganRae1230 – glad to hear someone is in a similar position, and happy that your friends are supportive of you! i have fantastic friends and i know they will be there for me, but i guess we are all a bit clueless about this stage in life and i kind of wish i had a “mentor” type figure to confide in!
@yellowshoe – very interesting about making new friends older than you naturally, i can understand how that would happen. it seems that you were and are both very grounded people so the older friends you made probably only made you even more so.
@ladyluck14 – no judgement here! i don’t think the amount of time you spend with someone always determines how well a marriage will work out at all – i know people who were together for years then separated after 3 months of marriage, and also know a wonderful couple who got engaged after 2 weeks and have celebrate more than 50 years being married! i’m very happy for you and only wish you the best 🙂
Post # 8
Strangely, I know how you feel. I’m one of the only girl’s from my close group of friends to be engaged. And I’m 29!!!
I’ve only had 2 close friends to get married….both in their very early twenties. And both are now divorced 🙁
Even though I’m far from being considered “too young to be getting married”, or young at all, I still feel kinda like I’m on an island, and I wish more of my close friends were getting engaged.
On the bright side…a lot of my associates (like friends of friends, and coworkers) are getting engaged and married. That helps!
But I’d defintely rather be one of the first to get engaged/married than one of the last!
Post # 9
@peonia: I was in a similar boat as you. I was the first of my group of friends to get engaged and for most of Darling Husband and my relationship, was the only one in a serious relationship. It made things hard sometimes because they didnt always understand my wanting to go visit him every weekend (we were in a LDR). After I got engaged they were all so excited for me, but at the same time as the wedding planning went on, I did notice they weren’t all that interested in “wedding” and “marriage” talk and didn’t come to the bridal showers and what not. It was hard for me to let go of the idea of having all my bridesmaids be super involved in wedding planning with me.
Luckily I had my sister there, who is married and she played the role of awesomely excited and helpful matron of honor! I’ve decided weddings are a “pay it foward” kind of thing. One of my close friends just recently got engaged so I’m doing my best to be involved in her wedding and throw her a shower and attend all the pre wedding events so she can feel as special as she deserves 🙂
Post # 10
I’m surrounded by a lot of people that are really actively hoping to get engaged/married and it’s hard because I actually felt really guilty talking about my happiness or wedding plans with them because I wanted to be considerate of their feelings.
Post # 11
I am the first of my friends to get married BY FAR, being 20 and still in college and all. A few of my other friends have BFs of 2+ years, but I would be VERY surprised if any of them got engaged within the next 3 years. They were all very helpful and supportive, but they’re still more “typical” college kids, I guess; nowhere NEAR at a place in their relationships to take on that kind of commitment.
I’m really excited to see what’s in store in the next 5 years or so, though. I LOVE weddings and I love helping plan things and I actually really enjoy being a bridesmaid… so I’m pumped for when everyone else catches up!
The only exception to this is my BFF/MOH who started dating her parter 6 months after Darling Husband and I started dating, got engaged 6 months after we did, and is getting married 9 months after us. She is about 2 years older than me and has always been like my older sister, so I’m really excited to help her out with everything!
Post # 12
I’m the same way. I’m almost 23 and getting engaged in a couple of months, and a lot of my friends are saying “I couldn’t get married right after finishing college” (I’m just finishing it now, it’ll take a year or so to plan our wedding). I feel like I’m ready though, and he’s 10 years older than me so we’re much more mature as a couple than any of my friends. We’re mostly homebodies though, we only have one really good friend couple (his age) and my best friend is back home overseas so we talk over the computer. My best friend in the US is not ready to be married herself but also in a long term relationship and is considering getting engaged soon as well. At least she’s really happy for me 🙂
Post # 13
@reign14 – i guess it happens at any age! i totally get the “island” feeling. but you’re right, i think i would rather be one of the early ones than much later 🙂
@aggie10 – your sister sounds amazing! and i love the “pay it forward” attitude. i already know i’m going to be so excited for my friends when they get married (and be a blubbering crying baby as well haha)
@AlizaFal – oh, that is a tricky situation to be in. i think it’s great that you’re so considerate of their feelings though, not everyone would be. my closest friends (all but one) are in long term relationships, and even though they’re not actively waiting for a proposal, i know that my Boyfriend or Best Friend and i taking this step will possibly make them think about these things a bit more, and i definitely don’t want to “butt in” in any way. i think your friends are very lucky to have you being so sensitive, and they’ll get their time!
@Miss Fish – it’s great that you have a Maid/Matron of Honor so supportive and going through the same thing as you! sounds like you’ll have so much fun with each other, planning and everything. i’m also very excited about my friends getting married eventually 🙂
Post # 14
Just give it a year! In my group of friends as soon as people started turning 25 the engagements started trickling in, by 26 and 27 it was full blown wedding every other weekend.
Post # 15
We’ve been together longer than all of our friends, but are actually last to get married. Most of my friends are my age or slightly older, his are all older. All of our friends are married and most have kids.
Post # 16
I’m in the middle, a few of my friends are married (most within the last 2 years) a few more are engaged and getting married within the next 18 months, and then I still have a few who are single with no SO in sight. my SO and I have talked engagement, possible wedding dates, and HE HAS THE RING! But supposedly no plans on when he’s going to propose. So I kinda pick and choose which of my friends I’m going to tell what to lol.