(Closed) Engagement = first arguments!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

totally understand!!!!  my then Boyfriend or Best Friend and i never said a harsh word to eachother until we got engaged and wow, we started fighting – it was horrible!!! 

i remember sitting on bondi beach talking to him on the phone in tears, i told him i couldnt do this and if we had to be like this for another 10 months then i didnt see us lasting until the wedding. i then said to him “what do you want” and he answers “i just want to be married to you”  the magic words because from that moment on, we figured everything out and there was no more issues, drama or hurt feelings (oh, and we decided to elope:)   )

try to stay relaxed and play to eachothers strengths – goodluck!

 

Post # 4
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow. While reading your entry, I kept thinking, “Huh, this sounds just like me!” Seriously, my Fiance is really involved to and our first big argument was guest list too AND he has his own ideas of what kind of wedding we should have. 

But that was about 2 months back.  Now, we have learned to talk about ideas and keep them as ideas until we’ve both agreed.  We’re learning how to talk things out and work on things together. And you are right, this is good practice for when you get married.

Hang in there and try to communicate and compromise.

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think a good way to deal with this – and sit down and lay out what is important to you and ask him to do the same!

Once this is done it helps you pick your battles! Obviously you will let him ‘win’ more on things that are really important to him and vice versa!

Talk about your vision and his vision and try and come up with a common vision that you both agree with and can use as your guide!

Post # 6
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

This makes me concerned to go over our guest list. lol. Even though we have the occasional fight, it’s weird to think a guest list can cause drama.

Just remember compromise is your best friend, and I am glad you feel better today!

Post # 8
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This sounds just like my fiance and I too!

I’m glad he’s involved…but sometimes its hard to not just do what I want, so I hear you on that one!

It does get easier once the “big” things are booked and taken care of.

Post # 9
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, thats the first thing we fought about too.  Good to know its not just us. 

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