(Closed) Engagement fustration!!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do You need a ring to be engaged?
    Yes! The ring is more than just a piece of jewellery. : (82 votes)
    60 %
    No!! The promises being made are more important. : (55 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    2494 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Why not buy a setting and, until finances are up to par, use a moissy or an asha as a centre stone? If you really want a diamond, they are amazing looking stones to use for now, and you can eventually upgrade the centre stone to a diamond later one (would be as simple as buying a loose diamond and swapping it out in the setting).

    I believe you can get a pretty good moissy or asha stone for a fraction of what a diamond would cost you.

    Post # 5
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    It’s sounds like you’re going to have to choose: do you want to be married or do you want a ring? Both are totally acceptable options– but you have to accept that if you end up waiting long, you made the choice. 

    Post # 6
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    @bookworm88:  I totally agree! To me the ring is a material symbol of the promise you’re making to each other, so it’s not neccessary to have one  to be engaged (: You’re going to have to choose which is more important to you (the ring or the marriage).

    Post # 7
    1013 posts
    Bumble bee

    Didnt you post about this before?

    Its only a ring.  If you want a bigger cut then get a CZ or Moissy for the time being.  Upgrade later! Not everyone can afford a big ring when their young so just upgrade it down the road!!

    Post # 8
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

    I agree with takemyhand about getting the setting you like and having a stand in. Since he doest like the idea of a piece of “glass” how bout a lower quality diamond? Or a semiprecious stone? Keep searching ebay, Craigslist, Etsy and all the other sites for something that you can agree on temporarily. You guys have tons of options here! Good luck!

    Post # 9
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree 100% with bookworm….. I was engaged for several moths without a ring and wasnt bothered at all. I knew that me and my Fi had already committed our hearts and lives to each other and thats what matter. Now that I have it (and its very nice) I dont feel any more engaged then before.

    Post # 10
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Engaged with no ring is fine.  Engaged without actually announcing it to friends/family (most of them may informally know it’s hapenning, but by your own admission, your father doesn’t know, and hasn’t been asked, which evidently is important to both of you) is not.  I would halt planning until the engagement is OFFICIALLY official.

    Post # 12
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I can’t decide how to answer the poll.

    We’re planning our wedding – well, our elopement 😉 He told me last month to go ahead and start planning the things I want and we’ve been putting together our budget for what we’re doing, but there’s no ring. Part of the reason (actually, all) is that we’re long distance, so proposing is a bit tricky unless he does it on skype :p A couple of my girl friends know we’re planning, since I wanted advice about dresses, but we’re waiting to tell our families until he officially asks. It’s not so much that the ring matters (I picked out a less than $100 ring that suits me fine) but that I want it to be 100% official. So I can definitely understand your hesitation to shout it from the rooftops without the ring, but I don’t think you should let it get you down while waiting for the ring – the promises have been made.

    Post # 13
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Hi- if you want the BEST bang for your buck, your best bet is buying (omg say that 5x fast) preowned. You will  be charged MUCH higher for a ring purchased from a jeweler. MUCH HIGHER. You are better off buyin a ring from jamesallen.com or bluenile. Although purchasing preowned is really the only way to guarantee the least markup. My bf bought my ring from the site idonowidont.com

    you should check it out 🙂

    Post # 14
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We were planning before the ring but didn’t announce it as an engagement until we got the ring, only because he had bought it and we had this long waiting period because my fingers are a less common size. So instead of waiting he asked, we planned, then he asked formally with the ring. I know plenty of people who planned weddings without rings and only exchanged bands at the ceremony. I don’t believe a couple needs an expensive peice of metal and a stone to solidify a promise they’ve made to each other. If you lost an e ring or a wedding band would you be any less married? It’s about the committment not the ring.

    Post # 15
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    in regards to the poll… my parents have been married for 28 and a half years and my Dad couldn’t afford to buy my Mom an engagement ring when they got engaged. The ring is not important, at least not in my opinion. I have a beautiful ring in mind for my future engagement ring but I would be just as happy going to City Hall and getting married with our friends and family by our sides, and only having a wedding band.


    Post # 16
    37 posts
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Fiance proposed with a ring I loved and he hated! I told him I want a ring we both loved so we found one and we are both happy, but it took about two weeks to get the new ring. The longest two weeks of my life! I realize that the ring is not the most important part, but it is an important part. I don’t feel it’s materialistic at all to want a ring. I LOVE that when people see me one of the first things that they know about me is that I’m engaged! J

    I think the ending of your post is the most telling “And I haven’t had my official, spoken to daddy, on one knee, facebook status changing proposal that the ring entails…” It’s not just the ring, it’s the whole even of the proposal and being officially engaged. For me it didn’t feel as real without the ring, and I even had the down on one knee proposal.

    I would talk to your Fiance and let him know how important it is to you to have the whole experience. I would also talk a bit more about the finances of the ring. Perhaps another stone would be a good compromise if he doesn’t want a mossie (I’m not even sure what that is but I’m assuming it’s a CZ of some type), perhaps his birthstone or yours or just a stone that you both love.

    The topic ‘Engagement fustration!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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