Post # 17
Girl- I feel your pain. When my ex-husband walked out on me and our daughter I could not breathe, sleep, eat. But you make it through. I am now remarried to a wonderful man and have a new baby. Go pamper yourself!
Post # 18
I am so, so sorry. It will get better and you’ll find someone really deserving of you and be happy this didn’t work out…but I know right now obviously you’re not going to feel that way or be able to think about it. Right now you just need to take it one day at a time. Do you have family and friends you can be with to lean on for support right now?
Post # 19
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a scary, terrifying feeling. Know that all of your sadness and confusion is justified. Also know that there is life beyond him. It will be very, very hard for a while, but it’s important that you believe in your self-worth and that you deserve happiness.
Take yourself out and do something quiet and special. Maybe schedule a massage or get a mani/pedi, just to relax your mind for a little while. If you have one close friend or family member, tell her so that she can help you talk things through.
You’ll be okay. And you’ll even be happy.
Post # 20
I handled it by surrounding myself with family and friends and keeping my mind busy. It all worked out in the end and I couldn’t be happier 🙂
You’ll get through it, I know it hurts now but everyday it will hurt a little less.
Post # 21
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@butterfly1988: Go see a therapist and consider getting on pschotropics to help you deal with this. Just make sure you follow up regularly to avoid issues of addiction. I went on Zoloft during my separation and divorce because I needed something to help me calm down so I could continue to go to work and not get fired. You need all of the support you can get and I know how upsetting and embarassing it is to tell people but you need to so the people who love and care about you can give you the support you need during this difficult time.
Get up, go to work, eat, exercise, keep your mind and body busy and healthy. The last thing you need right now is to add insult to injury by losing your job. You will have to grieve the loss of this relationship and it will take time. It probably feels like someone has punched you in the chest or scooped your soul out of you; I know exactly how you feel. But I can tell you, after a few weeks it starts to get easier. After a few months, you start feeling normal again. After a year or two you will meet someone else and start to consider marriage again.
Post # 22
you really believe I can find someone again? I feel like life has been sucked out of meIto had to take a 10-15 mins break from work. All I wanted to do waa cry. This I feel is too much pain…that I can’t handle…I though lt taking it one day at a time would work…but I need to take it one hour at a time…I feel like collapsing…I haven’t eaten anything at all since yesterday morning…I just wish this would all disappear…
Post # 23
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Make an appointment to see a doctor or therapist ASAP. The first few weeks were the most difficult. I had trouble eating too because I wasn’t hungry but I forced myself to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner because I didn’t want to pass out at work (again, I did not want to lose my job because then I wouldn’t have been able to pay my bills.)
I promise you that the feeling will pass in time and you absolutely will meet someone else and they will be awesome. Here is my FH (#2).
Way hotter than my ex husband. Plus, my dog adores him and FH dotes on the dog like it’s our child.
Post # 24
I know right now it feels like there’s no way you’ll survive, but you will. For now you have to force yourself to eat, sleep, bathe, and go to work, even though you don’t want to do any of those things. Over the next few weeks, it will gradually get better; a few months from now, you’ll go a whole day without thinking about it. Just be patient with yourself while you grieve. And if you find yourself unable to function, don’t wait to reach out for help.
Post # 25
@butterfly1988: The feelings you’re having are completely normal. You’ll be sad for a while. You’ll realize you’re stronger than you know. (Being sad isn’t the same as being weak. Sure, you feel like crying at work. But, you got yourself up, got dressed, and went to work. Victory #1 right there!) Soon you’ll realize there are plenty of perks to being a young, independant woman. You’ll find new hobbies and pastimes, have fun times with friends new and old, make memories that you’ll treasure forever. And when you least expect it, you’ll run into a handsome stranger and fall in love again.
Hang in there, beautiful butterfly!
Post # 26
I’m sorry, love! I know I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but it’s obvious how much you loved this guy, and you sound like a reasonable girl. Relationships aren’t easy. So for him to just walk away from a 9 year relationship is his loss. Everything happens for a reason. You’ll find true love again. It’ll take time… but now you have an opportunity to branch out independently and see who you really are/can be. We’re all here for you 🙂
Post # 27
He is making excuses when he blames you, and you deserve better than that.
Don’t deny yourselfyour feelings. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, then move on. It will be hard and you will miss him, but you will get through this,
Post # 28
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please get some counseling to help you sort through your emotions. I can’t imagine the hurt you’re going through right now. I know there is no bright side right now, but be glad he gave you some notice instead of leaving you at the altar. Be glad you didn’t go through with the wedding and have to go through a divorce. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but this could be a blessing.
My divorce was one of the worst things in my life. But, if I hadn’t gone through it, I wouldn’t have been a strong and independant woman when I met my fiance 6 months later. Please find some inner strength. You are a great person. Don’t let your ex convince you otherwise. You have value, and a better man will see that in you.
Post # 29
@butterfly1988: You will get through hun! I felt this way a few years ago when my ex of 4yrs decided to tell me he was never going to marry me. I spent months trying to convince him that I was worthwhile of his love and it took my dad coming from interstate to physically come and get me out of the apartment I was sharing with my ex and taking me to his house to spend time with family.
If you have any close family, or friends you would consider family, now is the time to reach out to them and enjoy (as much as you can) being with them. There will be times when you will feel completely defeated, but know that you’re not alone and you’re a strong woman and can get through this pain. The pain will eventually fade, but it will take time. My dad always says something positive will eventually come out of something negative, we just have to be patient. Huge hugs and kisses xoxoxoxo
Post # 30
I have been there as well. My ex told me that he just didn’t love me anymore and didn’t see us getting married. The breakup just felt really cold. I thought am I really that unloveable. I even had to move back in with my parents (either that or live in the apartment with him until the lease was up). I didn’t eat for a day or two and then I would only eat dinner (cause my family made) for a few more days. I finally got back up (a few pounds lighter and looking good) and meet my FH. He is amazing, I didn’t know a guy could be so sweet, kind and cute. I couldn’t have asked for a better man than him. I am happier than I ever was with my ex because he just wasn’t the guy for me and I see that now and thank him for leaving me. I don’t think I will ever be friends with him because he was a horrible person (hince I am glad he left me because while we were dating for some reason I couldn’t see it) but I won’t hate him anymore.
Post # 31
@butterfly1988: I am so sorry! Those really sound like silly reasons, and honestly I dont know if i believ them. If he has felt this way since he met you, then why did he propose? What has changed that all of a sudden he is not willing to accept these qualities? Im sorry, i am probably ot being very helpful by putting more questions in your head. You said it, he is not coming back. I know its hard after breakups because it takes you a while to stop hopinh they will have a change of heart and come running back – but it DOES get easier. Throw yourself into YOU. Go for a girls weekend, join a class, hit the gym whatever keeps you busy.
work on yourself and wouldnt that be good revenge when he eventually finds out how much of a “go-getter” you really are but he let you go.