(Closed) Engagement over…a sad follow up.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 137
37 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP, I just moved to Chicago with my fi and don’t know anyone or have much of a support system out here either. If you want to meet up for coffee sometime and vent or chat, please PM . Your guy sounds a lot like my ex! Anyway, chin up, love on your new kitty and just know that you are not alone!

Post # 139
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@bluehydrangeas:  Throw them away and try not to think about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s him.  A relationship is not built on flowers. A relationship is built on honesty, trust, maturity, and communication. What he does to you is not love. It is emotional maipulation, pure and simple. He is not worth your time.

Post # 140
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@mckernae:+1. He is so flaky and not worth your time! It is so easy to send flowers so don’t view it as a grand gesture. 

Post # 141
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bluehydrangeas:  I agree about getting rid of them.  Maybe you could donate them to a women’s shelter or a retirement home instead of throwing them away?  My future sister-in-law said something to me this weekend about how you should never be with a man who only buys you flowers to apologize.  You want to find someone who will bring them home “just because”.  Or in my case, a man who does my chores for me instead of buying flowers lol 😉

You deserve so much more than a narcissistic man who can’t (and won’t) put you first.  You are a smart, beautiful woman who deserves a man that knows your true worth.  Someone who loves all of the little quirks you have, supports you in all of your achievements and is there to hold your hand when life doesn’t go as planned.  Don’t settle for anything less than that.

In the meantime, it’s the spirit of giving from your heart.  Turn off those awful commercials and get out there and give of your heart to people.  Serve some meals to the homeless, donate your flowers to a women’s shelter, bake cookies for a friend who is feeling down.  I know it’s hard now, but I truly do believe in karma.  If you get out there and put some love out into the world, someday you will get it back in ways you can’t even imagine now.  <3


Post # 142
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@bluehydrangeas:  I love flowers so I wouldn’t throw them away or donate them. I’d keep them simply because they are beautiful. Whether you want to text him back and say thank you is your call. I wouldn’t. I would let him reach out to me if he wants to know that I got them or not. I know you don’t just want to throw your relationship away and I do believe in second chances, but he’s really got a lot to prove to you and he has a lot of explaining to do. I wouldn’t let him sweep you off your feet without doing both.

Post # 143
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bluehydrangeas:  I agree with other bees. It’s a meaningless object. He won’t give you time to discuss all his ridiculous manipulations when you are upset, but now he sends flowers? No way. If he was even remotely sorry or serious he would have been on your doorstep holding those flowers. It doesn’t matter when he bought them.  This is the minimum he thinks he can use to manipulate you. Don’t let him. 

And happy birthday!!!

Post # 144
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bluehydrangeas:  I sent another PM about the flower situation.  I agree with everything the other bees are saying, though.  You’re worth so much more than a few flowers!

Post # 145
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

He gives you flowers bit still refuses to talk to you about what the hell is going on?!!! I’d be pissed! He’s playing Mind games with you and trying to keep you on the line. He senses you are pulling away and now he’s scared he’s gone too far. What a jerk.

Post # 146
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t let him control you. God he’s just getting worse. 

Post # 147
3389 posts
Sugar bee

He is like a fox, he is using your feelings, emotions to get you off guard and then he will pounce again. I would put those flowers in the garbage can where they belong!

Story to think about: THE FOX AND THE CROW

A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.

     “That’s for me, as I am a Fox,” said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.

     “Good day, Mistress Crow,” he cried. “How well you are looking today: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds.”

     The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox.

     “That will do,” said he. “That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future: “Do not trust flatterers.”


Post # 149
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Did you respond OP? I feel like this guy wants to keep you hanging around for the days when HE is feeling lonely, but he doesn’t respect you enough to give you more than that. He wants to be wanted because that makes him feel powerful.

Post # 151
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Take it one day at a time. It will hurt for a while, but it WILL get better, for real.

I am sorry I didn’t wish you a Happy Birthday! But yesterday also happened to be MY daughter’s birthday – she died unexpectedly a few years ago and I get a bit depressed. Life was very hard for me for quite some time after her death. If I can manage to move on with life, so can you!

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