(Closed) Engagement over…a sad follow up.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 198
782 posts
Busy bee

All I can say is (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))). I’m really rooting for you. Love yourself. You are such a strong person and you are worth the best and more. Love yourself, love life…and it will love you back. Good things are waiting around the corner and a great, loving and supportive companion as well…everyday is one step closer to that. Don’t forget that we all have you in our thoughts and you are not alone. 

Post # 200
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@bluehydrangeas:  I have just caught up on your thread and like the other bees on here, I feel for you having to go through all of this. As you can tell, there are so many of us who have gone through the same type of situation. 

I went through mine when I was very young, which was shocking at the time that someone who I gave so much love to could treat me so poorly. Now when I look back, I’m grateful that it happened because it taught me to value myself first and the love I show myself will be given back to me in return. 

Now that you’re at the angry stage, I’ll tell you what I did at that stage, which helped me (and is fun). If you have any pictures of him, print them out. I took a sharpie and some scissors and had a wild craft night – and man did I have fun. I wrote everything on them that I disliked about him, I drew ugly facial hair, I cut them up so I could visually see that I was cutting him out of my life. It may sound immature, but in the comfort of your own home, no one will judge you. And then…I burned them. And it was a sweet, sweet fire. lol, again, sounds crazy but it helps so much. Finally, I decided to delete everything associated with him, blocked him from my phone, email, facebook, everything. I told my friends to not update me on anything about him (we were a LDR and he cheated on me with our mutual friend). It will take a bit of time, but you will forget about him, because he’s not worth remembering.

The best thing by far, was I realized several years later when I happened to run into him that he was DYING to know what I’d been up to. That is the best revenge by far, my dear – living well. Don’t write anything to him to try to hurt him, because it won’t and you’ll come off as immature and desperate, which will make him happy. Instead, your revenge and the way you can hurt him back is by living the best darned life you can. Do everything you’ve always wanted to do. Be the best person you can be, do all the fun things you’ve wished you had the courage or energy to do. From this, you WILL meet someone who deserves you. It won’t be right away, so don’t despair, but you will, because you deserve it.

Obviously you have a whole little army of bees behind you. And please, please take care of yourself. Do whatever you can to get the anorexia under control. No one is worth hurting yourself over.

Post # 201
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bluehydrangeas:  I’m glad to hear that you are making progress. 🙂  Being angry at your ex now for the way he treated you is all a part of the healing process because your heart is finally beginning to accept what your mind has already known for a long time–that he wasn’t treating you right.  I know what it’s like to have dreams about exes and I can’t say that they ever completely go away (because I still have dreams about my exes every now and then) but I can say that they won’t always be this frequent or this upsetting to you.  Whenever I have dreams now about my exes, it mostly just confuses me because I’d just like to know why I’m still dreaming about them after all of this time.  You’re a strong woman and will continue to get even stronger every day and you have all of us for support in the meantime!

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