Post # 1
So my Future In-Laws want to throw one for us (we got engaged in October), which I think is wonderful. But, I don’t really know the purpose of an engagement party in terms of etiquette.
Future In-Laws are using this party as a way to incorporate everyone who is *not* being invited to the wedding (space and budget issues) … which I think is a faux pas, and I’ve tried to explain that to them … but they are adament on doing it.
Future Mother-In-Law says when she got married the purpose of the engagement party was to celebrate with those who wouldn’t be attending the wedding.
All those who are going to be invited are all friends of the Future In-Laws, so I’m just hoping that no one gives us gifts, because then I’d feel awkward. I don’t know if engagement parties are like showers, where it is common for people to bring gifts.
Post # 3
Well, my thoughts are that engagement parties are to announce the newly engaged couple. A celebration. It is NOT like a shower.
At our engagement party which was last August, my cousin hosted it at her house. She had it catered by a local gourmet type grocery store. She paid for that. My mom bought the cake. On the evite that I did I put ‘Your presence is your present.’ Typically presents are not the norm at these parties. But people still don’t listen and bring them instead. So as to not make those who did not bring a present feel awkward, we immediately put the gifts in a different room.
I also read that you should invite people to your engagement party that you plan on inviting to your wedding.
Post # 4
That is what I read too, that people invited to any sort of party in relation to the wedding, should also be invited to the wedding.
The Future In-Laws are using this party as a way to honour their social obligations (they are involved in all sorts of stuff) to the people we are not going to be able to invite to the wedding.
But I would be much more comfortable if they were just to throw a party AFTER we got married. I just don’t want people to think they are being invited, and deal with the disappointment/drama when they don’t get an invite.
Post # 5
You are still supposed to invite the people from your engagement party as well….And the purpose of an engagement party is not only for celebration but to united the 2 sides of the family together….so they can meet.
People don’t need to bring gifts but some will.
Post # 6
I think the invite list for an engagement party should only include those who are actually invited to the wedding. You should suggest to Future Mother-In-Law that she host a “wedding celebration” party after your wedding for those who you aren’t able to invite.
And people WILL bring gifts- we had “no gifts please” on the invite and still had about 1/4 of our guests bring presents. Not that I minded 🙂