(Closed) Engagement parties?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
  • poll: When is the typical amount of time to have an engagement party?
    As soon after the engagement as possible : (12 votes)
    39 %
    1-2 months after the engagement : (14 votes)
    45 %
    6+ months is fine! : (3 votes)
    10 %
    Other, Explain in comments : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2606 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

    I was just at an engagement party a couple weeks ago for a couple that got engaged around September and their weddig will be NYE. I thought that was a little odd. I am not a fan of engagment parties to begin with. I told Fiance a while before he proposed that we wouldn’t have an engagement party, so after he proposed we had about 10-15 people at my parents house and had a champagne toast to celebrate. That was plenty for me! I don;t see the need for a huge engagement party when you’re going to have a shower, bachelorette, and the wedding. It’s just an added event. I see no real point, but if someone is having one it should be as soon after the engagement as possible!

    Post # 3
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    not a fan of E parties.  I feel like its asking people to come to another wedding.  If anything thing house party / cookout with close(st) friends and family

    Post # 4
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Hey its better than a bridal shower where you have to come bearing gifts!

    Post # 5
    Member
    969 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t think there’s really any right or wrong time to have an engagement party.  Our’s was about 9 months after he proposed and only about 3 months before the wedding and nobody batted an eye.  Perhaps it’s not your future sister-inlaw’s fault when the party is.  You never know, but maybe the person hosting the party wasn’t able to do it until then and that is their wedding gift to the couple?

    In our case, we were dependant on the person hosting the party as to when he was able to throw it.  Plus, we had to do it during a time when our guests were more likely to be available.  It was a small, BBQ type get together, but we had fun and no one made a stink about when it took place.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2507 posts
    Sugar bee

    Your poll is a little off, as it seems appropriate to have one anytime “relatively soon” after the proposal. That, to me, could be anything from the next day to a couple of months (particularly as if people are traveling to the party, they might need a couple months notice to attend).

    personally, I only understand two kinda of engagement parties:

    1) a party where you get both families together for the purposes of meeting. The entire point here is that your families are joining, so it’s nice for them to get to know each other prior to the wedding. Ideally, this happens relatively soon after the engagenment. Though, depending how spread out the family is, it’s understandable to delay this so that the family can attend (since that is after the whole reason). 

    2) an excuse to hang out with your friends, similar to a birthday party. This should happen asap (no more than a few months), since it doesn’t serve a wedding purpose, but just s social excuse. imo, this should be a low-key affair (or on par with however you social circle celebrates bdays)

    Post # 8
    Member
    1378 posts
    Bumble bee

    A good thing to remember, most of the time, couples aren’t throwing the party for themselves and may have had little choice in the date or planning of the party.

    Post # 10
    Member
    969 posts
    Busy bee

    prettyshinythings:  I wasn’t trying to imply that you were making a stink about when her engagement party is.  I was merely stating that no one made a stink about when *our’s* was, and that that is my personal experience with the custom.  You asked for what was “normal”, and so I went off of what I personally know about the topic.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 12
    Member
    2507 posts
    Sugar bee

    prettyshinythings:  i’d say that in that case, it is a bit strange. she’s throwing it herself, for the purpose of getting friends together to hang out, and it’s way after the engagement and really close before the wedding. that mixture of circumstances would likley strike me as annoying, as it comes off as just really narcisstic, trying to get everyone to celebrate you for three solid months (engagement party, bridal shower, bachlorette, wedding – all in a 3 month period). just seems a bit world-revolves-around-my-wedding thing.

    that said, if it’s the case that there are a lot of friends that were invitied to the wedding, but won’t be able to make it, and the engagement party is their way of getting to celebrate with them since they won’t see them at the wedding, then that’s more palatable.

    gifts for engagement parties are totally optional (and i don’t mean optional in the same way that a wedding gift is “optional”, but nonethless expected – i mean truly optional as in it’s nice if you bring one, but are under no expectation to). again, i’ll say treat it like you would a birthday party. are you the kind of person that brings a gift to the birthday girl? or are you the kind of person that shows up to party and your presence is gift enough? if you’d bring a bottle of wine to a bday party, then do so here. if you wouldn’t, then just a hug and “congratulations” is enough.

    Post # 13
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I think because it is so close it is a little strange. My engagement party is on satruday (ahh!) and we got engaed in December 2015. But our wedding isn’t until September 2017. So I planned the engagement party for after we got enaged, but when the weather would be nice and not snowy for people (family) coming out of town.  I figured an egnagement party would be nice because our wedding so so far away and it could give us as a couple and our families a little party to get excited about the wedding, even if it is for just one night. Not saying our families aren’t excited, but to get in the wedding “mood”. Everyone so far thinks I’m crazy for planning the wedding already because it is so far away, but everyone who thinks that either got married 30 years ago when it cost them a total of $2,000.0 bucks, or people who have never been married before. So for me the party was important for me to feel like “yay! we are getting married” because my FH and I work different schedules and it’s high stress, and so that we can enjoy being engaged with our family and friends now that we are engaged and still have plenty of time before the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee

    I personally think anytime is fine. We might have one at my parents house. Just family and friends. Pretty laid back. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Harn Homestead

    prettyshinythings:  I’m having mine this weekend, I got engaged back in October, but I work in Food & Beverage and getting a weekend off is tough. I’m not getting married till end of October, so its not as close together as hers will be. But I dont see why time matters, sometimes people cant get it done right away, due to money, work or whatever it may be.

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